Making a decision?

Becky; YOU should not be the person telling your husband that he is going to stay in LTC.

The doctor or social worker should be telling him, at least initially, that he needs to stay until he gets stronger.

This is SO NOT YOUR JOB>

You have gone so far as to say you want to divorce him. You don't want to take care of him. Why would you hesitate to have him go to nursing home? I would think that since he is there that you would be feeling a tremendous sense of relief! He needs more care than you can or even want to provide. I am surprised that you would even consider bringing him home. I would be demanding that he be placed. That is exactly what I would do, and you should do.

Guilt? There should be none. You have already gone as far as you can go. You have already done what you can do. And done a good job of it in a very difficult situation. Let go of the guilt, become a friendly visitor that advocates for him while the pros provide the care he needs that you cannot or are able to provide.

What are you thinking, Becky?

I know you've been expecting this subject to come up for quite a long time, now; so I'm just wondering how you see the pros and cons.

If the NH does recommend that your husband stays with them, how will you feel about it?

Take the advice of experts

You wrote this on October 25th:

"I’m in the same situation. I have even posted I want a divorce. My husband has been falling and he is getting some inpatient rehab. I’m hoping they say he needs to stay long term. I don’t have room for a live in caregiver I’ll be thinking and hoping we both get some relief"

Just FYI just read aarp may be able to get 3% discount on income care