On August 24th my grandmother finally had her knee replacement and has been in the skilled nursing/rehab place in the hospital since then. It's been pretty hairy these past few days. When I saw her on Wednsday, she didn't really understand why she was there and needed rehab twice a day. She thought that after her surgery she was going home and could do rehab there. My mom, dad and I visited her again on Friday and she was worse. Couldn't follow the simplest conversation, confusing a TV commercial for and actual TV show, confusing the sore from rehab to actual pain like she felt after surgery, wanting more pain pills. What really scared my mom was how long she was one Oxycodone and she kept thinking that she didn't have her knee surgery yet. When we were leaving, we talked to the nurses about the amount of pain medication and how long she was on them and how she is after taking them. I am sure that she has been cut off from the pain pills and now is given Motrin. My mother visited on Sunday and the physical therapist had mentioned that the doctor was thinking of releasing her on the 8th (today). My mother was horrified and told the therapist that before the surgery, she was living alone in her house and there were staires to get into the house and the basement and how was she going to manage? Mom, Dad, and I in a couple weeks are going to see my sister graduate nursing school in Virginia and then in mid October go to a wedding in Texas so there would be no family in Ohio to take care of her. Grandma living with us isn't an option. Both full baths are on our 2nd floor and there is no way she can handle 13 steps up and down. With how narsasistic she can be and the physical and mental abuse when she doesn't get her way, it's not happening. My coworker asked how Grandma was doing and I told her that the hospital was going to release her today and we let them know that there is no caretaker set up and our home is not elder friendly, we would not take her home. My coworker let me have it saying that my family was going to get into massive trouble with APS due to neglect. I know full well that we can't get into trouble if they want to release her and we don't take her home. Her daughter took care of her after her hip replacement and her brother took care of her 104 year old mother in England and that was their choice and that was the family dynamic, so that is what she is going on. At the time of the hip replacement a couple years ago she was mid to late 70's, my grandmother is 84 with kidney disease. What can we do to make people understand we can't take care of her at home?