My 88-yr-old Dad moved into assisted living 4 weeks ago. I wasn't able to find a "perfect" place, but this was the best option available--a 10 bed board and care facility about 90 minutes from where I live.
Since moving, Dad has been spending almost all his time in bed. He's depressed and angry and doesn't want to do anything. It's easy to see the large amount of muscle mass he's lost in 3 weeks. When I beg him to exercise, he says what's the point--he'll be dead soon anyway. He says if he was among people who knew and loved him, he would exercise. But where he is, all he wants to do is kill time. He won't socialize with the other residents. He won't pet the resident cat, or practice the piano, or sit on the sun deck.
I'm drowning in guilt. I was a full-time caregiver for 3 yrs, and I'm exhausted. But I'm terrified that my choice to move him is going to lead to his death. Have I taken away his will to live? What can I do? How do I judge whether this was a mistake?