My husband is 68 years, 13 years older than me. He is going blind, has confusion and some memory problems, we were told it is not dementia or Alzheimer's, heart problems and some minor problems with depression.
I have severe depression, fibromyalgia, migraine headaches and vertigo. I am also his primary caregiver. Because he doesn't sleep well I am unable to take my medication because I can't risk him getting into something that might hurt him. He also has issues with falling and if he falls I can't get him up by myself.
Not only am I putting him into a nursing home, but we are moving from Alabama, where we have lived our entire married life, to Ohio where all of my family lives. However, we will be leaving our 4 sons down here. Problem is they are no help in taking care of their dad. (They don't want me to put him in a home either.)
The home we are in is a double wide trailer and falling apart. Our one son builds houses for a living, but still does not help fix up our home so we can stay and still I am the bad guy.
I have also thought about moving into the home with him, but after visiting a couple of different places I can't do it. I have agoraphobia also. The thought of living in a place where you have little to no privacy nearly drove me to suicide. Two of my loving sons told me that I could not leave their dad in a place like that by himself so I would "just have to get over it." I hope that once we are up there and I can get back on my feet that I might be able to find a place for both of us where we can have live in help.
I confess that I can no longer make sure we both eat, get medication, have clean clothes and dishes, keep house or anything else a normal person should be able to do. There is no way I should be a caregiver who not only needs to do these things, but also help him dress, shower get from place to place (except at home) and occasionally feed him and help him in the bathroom. And as I mentioned before if he falls and no one is here or he can't crawl to something to help me help him up, I have to call 911 to get him off the floor.
Please, if this makes any sense give me some ideas. My husband cries at times thinking that I am going to take, dump and forget him even though I promise to visit daily or have family visit if I can't.