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My father is having a hard time controlling his bladder and bowels, but he is refusing to wear the depends that I got for him.

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My Dad was the same. Even after taking away all the regular underware..he refused to wear depends.

So, everyone refused to go with him anywhere. At first doctor visits had to be done with a taxi service. He talked a new aide into driving him to the doctor...he had explosive diarrhea in her car. Needless to say..she quit. (But, she was warned).

Finally, he gave in because he was house bound and didn't like it. Yeah, he bitched about it all the time at first...but the messes in the car stopped.
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we called them "man pants" - it worked
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My dad is 70, he had his stroke when he was 59, his first heart attack at 62 and his 2nd heart attack at 69. I've taken him to his dr and its due to him having had a stroke and 2 heart attacks. His doctor talked to him about wearing depends, he even told him he also wears them. I have not taken his underwear away yet, but have told him to wear his boxer over the depends. It looks like taking his boxers away will probably be my next step. Thank you for all the advice.
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The traditional underwear are NO MORE, GONE BYE, BYE's. no choice but to wear, call it "the latest style."
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To break in this change of underwear, let him wear his regular underwear on top of the Depends for a week or two and then gradually get rid of them. That way the Depends is really doing its job and the other is just psychological. It's hard for them to go cold turkey!
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I was reading on another post that if you refrain from calling them diapers or depends and just refer to them as absorbent underwear you may have more success. There was also mention that some of the newer styles look more like underwear.
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How old is your father and is it possible he has a medical condition causing this?

Doesn't he get embarrassed if he has an "oops" in his pants?

Possibly if his primary care physician recommends them, maybe he will listen.
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Remove "traditional" underwear and replace it with the Depends type briefs or other pull up type.
He will have a choice to either wear them or go "commando"
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If your Dad is having this problem he should wear a Depends type garment all the time.  If Dad needs them all the time, what some caregivers have done was get rid of all of regular underwear and in their place put the Depends. Dad will wear them as usually most people don't go "commando".
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