My husband has been in a nursing home for 10 months. He now can no longer walk, talk legibly or feed himself. His room is equipped with a ceiling lift and he sits in a lift chair all day. I take over his evening feeding and bedtime care every day to make sure he has the most gentle care and the best chance for long-term survival. However, he now deliberately spits out his evening medicine, refuses to eat and is generally rejecting but enduring my and the care aid's care giving. It looks as if he is aware of his helpless condition and has decided he no longer wants to live. Aside from the gut wrenching distress of seeing my loved one in this despair, I pity him also so much for having to endure this indignity for the rest of his life. Should he be allowed to eat or receive care only if he wants it? How can I make him feel better, how can I help him smile again?