I go through this horrible struggle daily. I think about the fact that it would help my mom to be in a nursing home and that it makes sense and then I feel this shame course through me and I think how awful of me to try to take someone's independence and home away from them and then I go back to the other side. I want to quit agonizing over this. My therapist said the best thing, he said that my mom's aging isn't a tragedy, it is what happens to everyone. I try to remember that. And now I'm taking the steps, seeing a lawyer, etc. but this makes me feel duplicitous, false, and like a liar. How can I make my brain just accept this and not keep going over it again and again in my mind?