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I agree with Bonnie. Any eldercare attorney can be invaluable! They are fairly expensive, but WELL worth it! Good luck!
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I have said it dozens of times and I will say it again, "Get an attorney that specializes in elder law." This is a specialized law, so be sure they specialize in it. An elder law attorney can advise you on all the programs, benefits etc. that are available to you in your area. I wish I would have done it from the very start.
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Does your mom receive any VA benefits from your father? This is a poorly used resource that a lot of people dont think about. What state are you in? It may depend on what resources your state has.
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