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Recap of my story: My 83-year old mom is in early stages of dementia and in India. I arranged mostly 24/7 care for her (the aides go to their own homes for lunch and care for small kids).
For now, things are somewhat ok.


I had discussed with you all about the possibility of bringing mom here and many had advised against it. Mom will be on a visa and will not qualify for any state insurance.


But I worry what will happen as mom's dementia worsens and she gets older? What if she lives to be 95? I keep calling the aides daily to make sure they are doing their jobs but there is only so much I can control from here.


So if I decide to bring her into my house, are there low cost insurance options at all? From my minimum initial research, it seems there's no coverage for NEW 80 year olds. I think I could get some travel insurance on a 6-month basis but not sure how extensive this will be.


Thank you so much

Travel insurance will not help. They exclude all existing conditions. Travel insurance is meant for emergencies like accidents. Not for long term nursing care.

If you live close to the southern border, look into a nursing home in Mexico. They are much cheaper than in the US. $1500/month will get you into a good NH down there. Some people that live in the US, have their parent in a NH in Mexico. If you live along the border, you can visit them everyday. Many people commute across the border both ways everyday for work.
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worriedinCali Mar 2, 2019
I think the OP is on the east coast
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Is there a way you can take family leave and get Mom set up somewhere else. She eventually is going to need more care. And wouldn't she be better in a country where they speak her language and know the customs.

You only have the one brother?
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wren9184 Mar 2, 2019
But mom would be miserable in a new environment with no familiar faces!

Yes...only one brother..
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Check into discounts from the doctor and hospital. You can usually get as much as 60% off if you are a cash pay. Before obamacare, you could not be charged more than than Medicare allows, ask, this might still be the case.

Insurance will be cost prohibitive, my husband and I pay 1800.00 monthly with a 15k family deductible. Neither of us are old enough for Medicare and relatively healthy, we are paying for others that can not pay, as will your mom because she can't qualify for resident/citizen assistance.

If she is fairly healthy you may be better off negotiating prices and cash pay.

We have a friend that had a knee and hip replacement, the hospital accepted 16k for their payment in full, my insurance is charged 23k a day for hospitalization with no surgery. They don't get paid that but you can see the huge discounts for self pay. You must ask, they won't offer. Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate.

Wasn't your mom completely miserable when she stayed with you? I ask because this will be the case if you bring her back. Are you really willing and able to go through that with no end date? You matter in this situation, please do not give up your wellbeing to sacrifice your life to trying to make her happy, it won't happen.
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JoAnn29 Mar 2, 2019
"Before obamacare, you could not be charged more than than Medicare allows, ask, this might still be the case."

This only pertains to those on Medicare using Medicare providers. If you don't have Medicare, you pay the full amount if your insurance doesn't pay. I had traditional, so I paid for doctor visits, fully. My Gson had a procedure and his insurance was a 5k deductable. Because of the high deductable, he was not charged the full for amount. So in some cases, if you pay cash the payment maybe lower.
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Also consider wren that you might be better off going home to visit your mom. Put it all in the equation. You know better than we do the conditions your mom is living in and the cost of her care there. Are you sending money home to help with her care? Are their agencies you could reach out to that would check on mom? Does your mom have access to face time of Skype or similar technology that you could check on her with? Can you speak with her caregivers and ask questions that make you feel better?
Whether your mom is in the US or India the current knowledge on how to treat dementia is pretty much the same. Comfortable and reasonably content is about all we can hope for.
I know it would make you feel better to touch her.
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wren9184 Mar 2, 2019
Luckily, mom has money for her care. I had to fight her to convince her to use it for her own comfort and a good friend is handling all her finances.

Mom has no access to technology. If someone turns on Skype and she only needs to stare at the screen, then she will go on Skype.

I worry about elder abuse if mom becomes weaker....that mom will take need help in the bathroom and the aides will handle her roughly etc...this happened to someone else in that AL place because it was only the patient and the aide. There was nobody to check on the aide.

Right now, the night attendant is a wonderful lady and I blindly trust her.

Thank you
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Thank you everyone:-))
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If you are able to get insurance for Mom there will probably be a 5k deductable or more.
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Where is your brother? Why isn't he caring for Mom since that is the reason she wanted to go home.

Without Medicare health insurance is going to be really high. Are you ready to care for Mom 24/7 and give up everything to do it. She will not be able to get help for 5 years. Can u afford 5k to 10k a month if she needs AL or LTC.
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wren9184 Mar 1, 2019
Brother is not in the picture.

Mom lives in her own unit in an assisted living center but that place is not really suited for dementia patients.
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Your state’s Health Insurance Exchange May offer a plan but it will probably be costly. I am unsure of residency requirements if any on the Exchange.
Those plans are costly for everyone, not just for your mother. But it may be looking into.
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worriedinCali Mar 1, 2019
i Don’t think her mom can get state insurance whether it be through the marketplace or Medicaid, for 5 years. She has to sponsor her mom in order to bring her here and that means she’s financially responsible for her, for 5 years.
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