Mom has been at her upscale ALF for two years. She is very timid and does not try to do anything for herself. They do not have assigned seating at the dining room, so the first table group that "allowed" her to sit with them has become her permanent group of cronies, despite my urging for her to mix it up. These women are the most gossipy, complaining group of people I have ever encountered. Sadly, my mom believes everything that they tell her about the facility as fact (lengthy response times, thefts by caregivers, on and on) and as a result, she will not participate in any activities or field trips. The facility has two large buildings with multiple dining rooms and the residents are free to choose where they wish the caregivers to bring them for meals and activities. Mom will not go to a piano recital, movie, or meal outside of her building because "Peggy said the caregivers will forget me and I will be stuck for hours". I know the staff and this is simply not true. The activities director and staff have made great efforts to get her to sit with other people and to go to activities, but she refuses. I know they cannot make the elderly stop complaining about stuff, but it makes me angry that she is paying $5,000.00. dollars a month to sit in her room because she is trapped, in her mind. She has turned into such a complainer herself now that her family does not want to visit her. I don't think this can be fixed. I have instructed the staff to have her sit with other people, but she gets belligerent and says they are defying her wishes. Has anyone else had to put up with this? BTW I have investigated these claims and they are false. The response times are good and if there were thefts, they were never reported to the administrators.