Does your loved one with dementia moan?

My mom is 89 and in an assisted living and has moderate dementia that has progressed over the year to making sounds like "ugh" or "ahh" and often saids "oh boy". I have asked her if she is in pain she asks me why I am asking her that and I told her she makes noises like she is in pain and she said " I do"??? Well I don't mean it. She also on occasion recognizes that she made a noise and will say Ugh Ugh and more Ugh!! She was well liked when she first arrived in the assisted living but now others shy away from her and she can't attend a quiet activity its very disturbing. She does it at mealtime too. And in the wating room of the Doctors office. I used to take her out to eat but not anymore for obivious reasons. I know this is a part of the progression of the dementia but it is hard to watch my mom go through this and I miss the mom I used to have..

I believe this is a comforting tool that is used. It is more distressing to the care givers than the person. Some people rock, hum ect. I had to really turn my mind off to all the noises that my Mom makes. At first I thought that I was supposed to "solve" the problem. When I accepted that this was part of the process I was more understanding.

No, you are not alone!! And I know it's helps to know that.

I would have to wonder if there is a possibility of her aspirating? With elderly, it especially seems to come up when they have had something that weakens them or something. It is NOT like a normal choke, it is referred to as a "silent" aspiration, because it does NOT usually result in coughing. They just have mostly liquids, but sometimes other things too, slip into the airway and can result in moaning, clear nasal drainage, throat clearing sometimes.... it will end up turning to pneumonia if it IS the problem and if it goes untreated. Just a suggestion. It is VERY common with the elderly. I saw it all the time when I was a charge nurse in a nursing home... A speech pathologist specializing in Swallow Studies, or Swallow Disorders can diagnose and treat....

bettymaxwell194 your mom sounds just like my mom. Her saying is "there there there" And she moans too through meals. I hate it. Especially when we have company because I warn them about it and they still will stare and I know they are bothered. And I feel for her because as with your mom she doesn't realize she is doing it. Also like you, I really miss the mom I used to have....I sometimes sit and watch her and feel such a ache in my heart for my mom that was my best friend. I miss my talks with her most.

My mom is in a memory care facility. I have noticed that a lot of the residents who are more advanced in their illness vocalize- moan, holler repeated phrases, etc. Maybe the flu was coincidental timing with an advancement in your mom's illness. It must require a lot of patience on your part.

My Mom, 84, without dementia moans. It drives me crazy too. She says it makes her feel better.

It's not uncommon in Alzheimer's, too.

My husband lost his ability to talk, say words, communicate very early. He started with the noises/moaning.Yes it made me crazy, he would do it in bed before he fell asleep. I asked him once if he even knew he was making those sounds. He looked at me like he didn't know what I was talking about. Sometimes it is one syllable, sometimes as many as 5. Sometimes almost like a little tune, or song. Like one sound, then 3 quick ones. It varies. When a commercial comes on with music or singing in it, his sounds will get a little higher pitched, as if he is humming different notes!! Almost like he is singing with them. I read somewhere that the sound of their own voice could be soothing to an Alzheimer patient, something they still recognized in a world of strange things. It was so hard at night when he first started doing it, was very hard for me to fall asleep. I would ask God to give me strength so I could ignore it. Most times I don't "hear" him anymore.

My mom also has dementia and she moans almost all the time, each time she moves she moans and sometimes it drives me crazy.