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My has lost or misplaced two rings and a bracelet. Everyday I get notes from her accusing me of taking them or all day long she's telling me she wants her rings and bracelet back and that she's going home or she will showout if I don't return them. She tells me that my mom and my dad did not steal and I'm going crazy, I lost my mind and she wants her stuff back. She said that she's going to go back to her house when she talks to my brother. What do I do because I cannot find her them anywhere. The bracelet I am sure fell of as it did often. Her rings were to small, but she would try to wear the anyway. Then she started taking them off and putting them in her change purse. At night she would put them in her jewelry box. One morning she accused me of taking them because they were not in her jewelry box. I can.ot find them.
How do I handle the accusations. Every day nearly all day. If she looks at her fingers or go to her room she starts accusing. I can hardly be near her, hive it about 2 minutes, she starts fussing and accusing.

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First off, you understand that it's the disease, not your mom talking.

Second, show concern. Oh mom, I'm so sorry that your jewelry seems to have gone missing. I'll look in a bit. Would you like some ( tea, ice cream, whatever might distract).

Get her to a geriatric psychiatrist, or if one is unavailable, to her regular doctor to discuss meds for her agitation.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's a horrible stage. Take care of yourself.
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My Nana did this too, then the stage (or maybe it's the same stage of dementia) where She kyped little things from around the house, and would wrap them up in tissue paper and then hide them in her room. It's maddening and frustrating I know, so like Babalou said, if her Dr can Rx something for her agitation, that might help, but hopefully this will pass. Could you maybe give her some smaller sized, costume jewelry to "replace" her lost jewelry? It might just work!
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As Babalou and Stacey said, this is the dementia and it is a temporary stage many experience. Hang in there! I don't know how long it will last, but while it lasts it seems like forever, doesn't it?

Know that you are not going crazy. This is your Mom's disease, not yours!

As Babalou suggests, try to be sympathetic without, of course, admitting stealing. You are sorry her things are missing. You'll help look for them.

Stacey's suggestion of replacing the items might help. "I know you miss having rings to wear. Let's get some new ones while we try to find the old ones." But next week it might be her coin purse or her glasses or her pink undies that are missing.

All you can do is minimize your own distress, do your best to calm her, and above all know that this is Not Your Fault.

It would be interesting to hear from you again, and to hear how long this stage lasts and if you found anything that helps. We learn from each other!
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Medication will help, but the MD needs to know she is both obsessive and delusional. If she becomes violent, call 911 and have her admitted on a
Baker Act (psychiatric evaluation).
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