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You guys are the best friends ever! Daughter is anorexic, doing better after hospitalization about 8 years ago, also diagnosed with post traumatic distress,
and a bunch of other crap that doesn't relate. Be aware of these "hospitals" that treat those with eating disorders, horrible. Am looking into the VA for long term care, dad is eligible, just a waiting time to get in. Just got done with the shower, dressing pressure soars, and yeast infection. My dad gave comments under his breath, paid no attention (WOW!) Daughter can't even go to her dad's across town for a length of time, he's been done for a while now, but reminds me "We are in for the rest of our lives." What a dumb statement to make provided her relationship problem is tied to his leaving the family (is that what men do??) My husband , daughter and I have apologized to each other today, one day at a time. My love to all of you for the support, thanks for not judging me.
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I agree that daughter needs to find her own way at 30. Doesn't she have any friends she can move in with? She shouldn't be coming home every time she has a breakup. She needs to be on her own and find roommates if she can't afford to live alone.

I agree that it sounds like it's time to try to find dad some other accommodations so that you can get back to work to protect your own retirement finances. Good luck and keep us posted! And vent anytime you want to.
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I think I would leave with my husband and let the squatters sort it out among themselves. Your husband is more important than their problems. Save your sanity and your marriage. Quit enabling the daughter to come home every time she has a tantrum. If your Dad is a vet tell the VA to do their part. You'll be amazed how your own health will improve.
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Lay down the law now. Give daughter 30 days to find another place. Unless she has mental illness, a failed relationship is no reason to move back in w/mommy and daddy.
Find a nursing home for your dad and get their help. Maybe you can time it to when he goes in for surgery. Tell him it's part of the recovery process from his surgery.
I know this is all much easier said than done, but it sounds like you're at the end of your rope. There's nothing about your situation that can be made somehow more manageable, unless you take these drastic and permanent steps.
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Well, my daughter moved back after a bad relationship, (3rd time.) So I feel like I've been displaced once again (moving my stuff out of her old room to God knows where, moving dad's stuff in to make the family room his (guess where the TV is at.)
Tension? My dad's dementia is really starting to blossom. He doesn't want to do anything the doctors have told him to try and help himself, loves a pity party. So my negativity and/or depression is a reflection of his attitude. He won't go the senior center anymore because he doesn't like to be around "crazy people." Hey dad, you're on your way! He only wants family to take care of him, siblings are absentee. I haven't worked in almost 4 years, so loss of income, SS and my 401 contributions really bother me as far as our future. I'm sick of hearing about his trips to the bathroom, feeling guilty because I want to get out once in awhile without him in tow. Why does the family think this is a cakewalk? I have lived at the ER 3 weeks in a row through January and dad is having a toe amputated this Thursday. What next? Whew, sorry you guys, I had to get it out. ladeeM, thanks for the virtual hug, I really needed to vent!!
-Annie
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58yoc..... We all get sick of this... so vent away and let us know what's going on.... we'll listen, and see if we can brainstorm some ideas to help you out... let us know what is going on... sending you hugs.
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Why did your daughter move back in? Get her to help with your dad if she's going to live with you. Take a date night out with your husband. Where is the tension coming from? Your dad or your husband?
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