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I was stopped by an elderly woman who knows my mum has dementia, her husband has it also but is now in a care home . she said I looked terrible, and that I needed a break. I asked my sister if I looked unwell and was glad when she said no, I looked ok. my friend who I see went on holiday for 3 weeks, when she saw me , she looked shocked, said my face had sunk in, the weight I lost in 3 months was unreal. She said she knew I was losing but didn't want to upset me. a few more people have remarked on this, I knew my clothes were too loose, but I put it down to either they were obviously big made, or the tumble drier must have made them like this.as well as my 2 sisters helping to take of my mum, she also has a carer in the morning to shower, and make her breakfast, another at night getting her ready for her bed, she is never left alone for long.the carer remarked on my weight, my other sister said I looked terrible, that the bones in my shoulders were showing. I take my mother shopping, pushing her wheelchair is difficult, she is small, but very heavy.i keep putting it down to stress and anxiety, I do eat, adding veg, and also fruit, the only thing I feel different with is tiredness.i walk the dog, do gardening when I have the time, something I have done for years, so this is nothing different,i have now made an appointment to see my doctor at the beginning of next month, but I feel im wasting his time, I have never told him I worry about my mum, nor that she has vascular dementia and is getting worst.i take care of all her finances, and thankfully trusted by my sisters 100%, so that does not worry me at all.i have lost 2 stone in 3 months, I was a size 12-14, now a 8-10.i feel like avoiding people now in case I hear about how terrible I look.i do worry, but everyone would to see the person who is a mum disappear, and become like a stranger, getting our names mixed up, forgetting the memories we had with her, and becoming so confused, it does hurt.has anyone lost weight due to stress & anxiety, I would like to think im not alone, thanks.

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I can add that while I realize I could put my Mama in a NH....that will change nothing. For me, it would make me feel that I had finally failed at the last important thing God gave me to do on this earth. I am not a martyr, but in some ways...Mama has lived the kind of life where she deserves to be at home as long as I am able to do it and help her flourish...I have not....and so we go on.....
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This life has been too hard....and I am too tired.
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Oh shakingdustoff....I do understand. I told someone not too long ago I felt as though I had already died and was watching life go on around me...Not all days are like that, but I think it is harder on holiday weekends when everyone and everything is geared towards family and gathering and parties etc. Yesterday was hard on and for me as my nephew, whom we rarely see, dropped by without any advance word to see Mama, for which I am very thankful and it went ok, but I think what hurts is that WE are the visit that is kind of the "cram them in between the fun stuff and get it over with" visit. They were here a couple of hours, it was pleasant enough and then they were all off, headed to the lake with my brother, where they were going to cook out....tbone steaks, the works and enjoy the sailboat races that afternoon....they all drive big fancy vehicles and spare no expense in having them detailed every time a spec of dust falls...so off they all went, all dressed up in fun, colorful clothes, all excited...and especially so once they knew they had gotten this viist out of the way..now that may not have been how they felt, but that is how it felt to me...it hurts and I have pretty much lived this way all my life...my parents never really cared about getting in on all the fun type stuff...they were older...so if I didn't stay and help them celebrate, they were alone...and maybe I should have not worried so much, but I did and while folks will say, you should have done what you wanted to do with friends ...but when I would actually tell them I was not coming home, was going to do this or that with folks, they were audibly so disappointed...they were wonderful parents and always good to me and my brother...I always knew how much I was loved, but I think maybe they could have made me feel less guilty for wanting to live the life of a young person. As I have said before, I have never felt like a normal young person...I have been old my entire life....and I never fit in with any of my peers...like shaking...I am a shadow of my former self these days, as I did finally become active at the gym, worked hard on maintaining a healthy appearance...now, without extra cash or medical insurance, I can't even worry about my appearance or my health...I color my own hair and cut it most of the time as well. I have had one pedicure in my life and one manicure.
I was never prideful about my appearance but I used to be attractive or so I was told, and it is almost like a lot of folks are somewhat enjoying watching me fall apart before their eyes. I never had anything handed to me, always had to work my butt off for everything I got but I managed to do it....a lot of what I did I did for friends and family, who have long since flown the coop...and yet, it's all on me for doing it...the question I just keep thinking is ...how did I let this happen to me....in some ways I have let it happen all my life, it is just that the final episode, caregiving, has finally brought the pattern out where I can no longer hide it....maybe if any of it had ever been appreciated it might have made a difference. I don't feel that anything I have done is appreciated, EXCEPT by Mama and Daddy, so I just keep on keeping. I can totally see that there will not be another chapter to my life...This is the final chapter...I can feel it...my health is going down the tubes, I hurt all over and it is not normal pain, there are all kinds of signs of trouble but I can't address them properly and I don't even want to know anymore...my only prayer is that God will let me remain able to care for Mama as long as she needs me and place my beloved cats in loving homes and then I am ready to go.
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I have lost a great deal of weight and gone from a size 16-18 to a size 12. I am not in the same kind of caregiving as most others but the stress is still and there is the anticipation of what the future will bring.
When I have a serious illness, surgery etc that kills my apetite. Right now I also have swallowing difficulties so that slows down the amount of food consumed.

But the answer the original question stress does play a part and a visit to the Dr is essentail.
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As an added bonus, they also let me know my hair needs coloring...(hey thanks!!!)
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The strangest part of this is in my former home, I was in a townhome, so we had lawn service and I kept a beautiful patio and front porch area, but it didn't require all that much "effort" to keep it looking beautiful. Here, Mama has a huge yard...almost two acres..it is covered with trees, and has lots of wooded area, which I have to keep cleared out...so I am working all the time just trying to keep from being overrun with yard. I am mowing, cutting trees...literally cutting trees and hauling them to the curb, raking, weeding, etc. in between I am running back and forth to the house to check and make sure Mama is ok, changing her, feeding her, running, running...I have never worked so hard in my life and yet never been as FAT as I am....the scales don't indicate weight gain so much as all the shifting around ...I honestly feel like one of those talking M&M characters on tv....totally round...I have never had this kind of body before...and it is appalling to me...I have been the open subject of a lot of visitors.. (thank you very much, I didn't know how fat I had gotten so thank you for telling me)......it is horrible and I hate it....
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Im just the opposite. I have gained more than 10 pounds in the past year. I started working from home prior to moving in with my father, but since I was much more active I didnt really gain weight. Since moving in with him, Ive gained alot of weight. I cannot wear most of the pants I brought with me a year ago.
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Ha! I wish! The opposite has happened to me..
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Weight loss can definitely accompany all the stress we are under as caregivers...sadly, so can weight gain..and therein lies my problem...I am totally disgusted and ashamed at how much weight I have gained. It is bizarre as I do not eat that much, but I know I eat all the wrong things when I do eat and I don't get to walk my five miles that I used to back in my other life...I can't stand looking at myself...all of my weight gain is right around my waist which is the worst possible place for it to be and a major deal leading to heart issues on down the road if I don't get it under control. I have a closet full of beautiful clothes but they are all in my other house, 2 1/2 hours away, back in my other life. I am going to soon be getting those along with anything else I can as I am about to lose my home in foreclosure...so there may be more weight gain to come...again it is very bizarre as I started tracking what I am eating and it is mostly coffee...with the occasional fruit and maybe some cheese....but last night I can tell you where it will come from ...that big honking pizza I ordered as a treat to myself and I did not worry one minute about it....I used to care about my appearance... I still do but just don't have the time and seemingly, the motivation. I'm trying to change that....but I did cave last night and went the pizza route....
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Yes, when I was caring for my dad when he was in a nursing home I lost quite a bit of weight due to stress. As I was a little overweight to begin with the weight loss looked good but I wanted people to see it for what it was, a symptom of the stress and anxiety of that time in my life. I didn't want people saying, "Oh, you look great! You've lost so much weight!" I wanted people to say, "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight in such a short amount of time. Are you OK?" I was not OK, my body and spirit were falling apart and I didn't want to keep hearing, "You look so good!"

But to answer your question, yes, the stress of having my dad in a nursing home at the end of his life caused me to lose at least 20 lbs.
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