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I'm all he has but I have been dealing with getting him out of a bad situation into a new retirement home 5 min away from me doing everything for him all of this while I am trying to raise my infant daughter. He is so ungrateful and I am tired of being abused. All I want to do is disown him. I have no energy for his shinanigans. I've lost all patience and compassion. No idea how to deal with this anymore. I need some advice before I shut him out completely.

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You're very welcome, keep coming back just whenever you need to and good luck on your journey.
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Thank you everyone who took the time to respond. This is my first time to reach out and appreciate the advice and support!
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Was he like this before the dementia?
It is terribly hard to be at the butt of someone's anger and abuse
especially when your run ragged trying to be helpful.
My widowed bil blames me for "it raining, his wife (my twin sister) dying,
when he remembers he has dementia, that too" You name it, I blew it.
Yet I'm severely disabled, widowed and with serious health issues of my own.
So, I make sure he's safe & cared for, then I take time to weep, wail, scream whatever I need to do.
After that I try to think how I would feel if I couldn't remember simple, everyday things. I think about how frustrating I find it having to rely on other people for things. Then I try to imagine that same scenario, but not understanding how, why people are doing these things.
It's incredibly hard caring for someone with dementia, but it's incredibly hard and scary having dementia too.
If he's safe in a place where he's looked after, then keep contact brief when you don't have the strength.
Don't give up on him, any more than you'll give up when your infant daughter is tired and ratty. Instead make some time in every day for you. It doesn't have to be hours, just a little bit of you pamper time when both are safe and don't need you for that time Good luck
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Sometimes, we have to things because they're the right thing to do, not because there's gratitude. You say your dad has dementia. He doesn't want to have dementia. His brain is broken beyond repair and you are the only one around he can blame.

Please read more about dementia on this dite, and watch some of the Teepa Snow videos on youtube. Set firm boundaries so that his harassment doesn't interfere with your parenting, which is of paramount importance.
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My father has dementia. He is only 74, and unable to manage money, extremely suspicious and confused. He was being abused by his son financially. He is now safe in a retirement home. I am there 2-3x a week and hate every minute.
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Good answers Maggie and jeanne, I'd like to know more about his health situation, also. Thankfully he doesn't live with you. The advise I got that changed my life was... Limit contact, don't eliminate it.
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There was a time in the recent past when I was ready to write an 87-year-old man out of my life because, frankly, he was an *******. He had no one but me in this world. I was discussing that very fact with my attorney. I've known him for 15 years. He said something that changed my life...

"Maggie, that's not who you are. You know what the right thing is to do. Don't let his terrible personality define who you are."
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What are your father's impairments? How old is he? Why can't he make these improved arrangements for himself?

Does your father have dementia? Bipolar disorder? COPD? You need to protect yourself, but the advice we give you regarding how to do that may depend on knowing more about your father's situation.
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