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I agree Llamalover47, but so far 'nothing' has been 'tripping' down his leg. Nor has he left any presents on the furniture. Every situation is different.

I know where every bathroom is in a 25 mile area - but when the time comes, I will not hesitate to use whatever is needed for myself. Until then, I am just thankful that my kidneys still function, even if a little more often than some.

There is no shame in needing and using adult pull-ups. I had that talk with DH 7 years ago when my Father's "A-H" brother made a rude & crude comment to my dad, which in turn put him totally off dialysis and onto hospice. He was gone in 5 days after that.

The "A-H" embarrassed my dad with a diaper comment. There is no shame in wearing 'Luvs' for Adults.
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Funny not true story-- about 7 years ago, I was running to every bathroom in town till my late mom told me to buy some feminine pads. God bless her! She knew better than I did!
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Diapers are better than having it tripping down your leg.
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Just my opinion here - but sometimes "diapers" just make more work. Of course, it all depends on age and activity level.

No, my DH has excellent sugar - not even pre-diabetic - but at 95, the muscles will start to decline. As we're home alone 99% of the time, I don't make him get dressed. At 95, they sleep more often than not anyway. When he dresses, the amount of laundry is awful. And, I would still have to clean him. So, "commando" in the house but with a shirt that is long enough works well for us. As I am retired, I am also available to him 24/7.
When we go out to doctor appointments, I often encourage him to use a Depends; but he still tries to get to the bathroom in time and the depends actually get in his way most often.
Just my 2-cents worth here. And this has been working for us for 1-1/2 years and counting. When his son was here on Monday - he soiled 4 pair of pants just because he was unable to work around them. You have to do whatever works for you in your particular circumstances.
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LOL. Yes, I wear a pad "just in case." And sometimes I just tell my husband, "Someone will be doing this for me someday."
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He should be wearing adult diapers. Nothing to be ashamed of. I've bought myself some in lieu of having an accident.
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Yes Jazzy, I totally agree with you! My DH is not happy that he needs me to wipe up after him.
I just about went nuts looking for this 'question' as while it doesn't make any sense to me, my DH started eating ice cream several times a day (maybe up to 1/2 cup each time) and lo and behold, no more gifts when he passes gas!

But you're right about making sure they visit the potty soon after every meal. This really is a 24/7 job, lol, but like you - this is just the 2nd half of my vows. 32 years of blessed health, now we're on the downside of his turning 95. Life happens.
For better or worse, in sickness and in health - this is exactly what I tell people when they ask.

Kudos to you Jazzy2!
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With dementia it is definitely not on purpose. My husband hates my cleaning up after him, apologizing profusely and saying this is not what I signed up for but it is indeed what I signed up for in sickness and in health, for better or for worse.
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I had an elderly friend of mine who had the same kind of problem but his came up suddenly without warning. No one saw this coming. He also wore a colostomy bag for urine collection and did pretty good at keeping things clean. I don't know why he went and did a sudden 360, I guess because he was expecting people close to him to clean up after him. When I saw the mess in the bathroom, there was no way I was cleaning up after him. Hey literally spread diarrhea fecal matter all over the bathroom and really messed it up really bad and this was something in which I was definitely not getting involved. It looked very suspicious from the start, and I was not about to start enabling bad behavior by becoming his slave.
I could understand if this was a gradual thing and had he treated his aides better and this would've been something that couldn't be helped. Unfortunately though, it was believed he was doing this deliberately because he had other behavioral problems.

I don't know how long your situation has been going on but if it was anything like mine, it would probably be a very good idea to get some professional help on this one
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I'm wondering how many of these men have diabetes. My FIL has these same issues and it's because of neuropathy.
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This happens to my husband occasionally. I had a washlet (Like a bidet) installed on the toilet which helps with the clean up -- then do more cleaning when we get him up off the toilet. Use a lot of diaper rash cream and large wipes. I never thought I could do this part but I guess we can do whatever we have to do. But nooo fun!
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My husband has this problem also. I have learned he must go to the toilet immediately after eating. If we are out eating , we go directly to the restroom. He also passes a small amount of stool with gas. He uses wet wipes with every bathroom use. When he soils himself big, about 4 times a week, he gets in the shower. With the smaller accidents I help him after he has cleaned himself. Yes it does burn bad if it isn't clean and my husband has trouble especially at night with passing a little stool with gas. Prevention is worth it's weight in gold. I keep his bum coated with vaseline or diaper cream. Thanks for the info about the VA. I will check. We didn't know that.
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I'm not really sure what you're asking for but I have a Sleep-Lift Chair for DH (yes, think mucho $$$$) and I have it covered with a Pellon Cooling Mattress Cover that also has waterproofing vinyl on the bottom. Machine Washable, got it at Walmarts, and I got 2 so when one is soiled, I can put the other on. Before the chair, I used them on the sofa where he had been sleeping for about a year.

My DH hasn't lost control of his bowels yet but when he passes gas, it doesn't always come alone if you get my drift. This might be TMI, but when he gets up to "wee," I also use a wipe on his bum just to make sure it's clean. He thanks me profusely for this. A dirty bum burns like the dickens. At least that is what DH says.

If your DH is a US Veteran, the VA will provide the depends, free of charge I was told. So far we haven't needed them. Thank the Good Lord.
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So, does your husband wear "adult protective garments", ie, depends at night?

Would that help?
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