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In my moms AL, they have an Aide standing by the elevator and she checks off the names as the Residents arrive for meals. If you don't come down, they call the Resident on the phone and if they don't answer someone goes to get them.
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ALG1447, my Dad is now at that stage where I need to call him at his facility around 4:30 to remind him to start getting ready for dinner. More than half the time I wake him up as he was napping, and if he was in a deep sleep, he can be quite confused.

Dad does have his caregiver who spend the whole morning with him, thus she will make him breakfast and lunch [he lives in Independent Living]. But once she leaves, Dad is on his own, and he won't look in the refrigerator nor the cabinets for something to snack on. For my Dad, it was years of training by my late Mom for everyone to keep out of her kitchen. Mom did this because she was losing her eyesight and didn't want anyone to move anything.

I am also surprised that your Mom's assisted living isn't able to remind those residents who are clock challenged that it is time for dinner. That is something I will need to check for my Dad as I had signed him up for another level of "assisted living" care where he can continue to live in his apartment without needing to move to the Assisted Living side of the complex.
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I'm really surprised that AL lets that happen. When Mom was in AL, every person was given an assigned table. There was a rule, they could only miss one meal a day. If they didn't show up - someone went up and got them. Mom had dementia and couldn't keep track of time either. So someone went up and got her. She often didn't want breakfast, so they made sure she was escorted to lunch. If she didn't feel well, they brought her a tray.
Do they have levels of care in your AL? Mom's did, and included in her "level" was to take out and put in hearing aids, give meds and make sure she went to meals. You might want to talk to the director. Assisted living is what you are paying for and if they don't make sure she eats, what are they assisting with?
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My mother also has little sense of time. Calling her on the phone seems like the best option. Memory care is more expensive, so I understand why someone would want to avoid it as long as possible. It is frustrating when they lose sense of time. I feel like I'm trying to round my mother up all day. She's liable to start doing something else right at dinner time, so it takes a while to get her to fix a plate. We have to take it one meal at a time on many days.
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Yes, they check on her at 10 am, she gets meds at 11, she gets meds at 7 pm. So, yes, she is getting assistance from the CNAs multiple times throughout the day. If she needs more than that, (showering, help with dressing) she can ask for it but she won't. I can discuss with the RNs and will check the UTI but I doubt that is the cause. The confusion has been off and on since March when she was admitted to the hospital because of guess what, dehydration due to not eating--screwing up her meds-- and then the dehydration put her into acute kidney failure. Once all that was resolved, she still had a little bit of confusion and that is why she was moved from her home to assisted living.
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First, I suggest you get your mother checked for a UTI. Second, I'd talk to someone in authority at your moms AL. It seems pretty lame to me - the excuse they gave for not being able to cue your mom at meal times what kind of "assist" are you getting? Sure they can't cue every redident, but you aren't asking for every resident - you are asking for one, your mom. At my moms old AL someone came around every few hours to dump trash cans, does anything like that happen at your moms place? If yes, couldn't that person remind? Or any other time someone checks on her? I'm mean someone has to be looking in on her at some point - where does the "assist" come into play for her?
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