Looking for support caring for elder parent after sibling used duress to steal her savings and estate.

If she did this while your mom was declared incompetent by her doctors or the court, it could constitute elder financial exploitation, and it sounds like she was the victim of physical or emotional abuse as well, especially if she is afraid to go back to her own home. Your mom likely suffers from PTSD as a result of all of that.

My situation is very similar. I became mom's guardian after the judge found my sister unfit to serve. We were originally co-petitioners. In fact, she didn't even show for the hearing that day because she did not want to provide information the court was requesting.

I stepped in and brought mom to live with me to protect her from the physical abuse, fear and intimidation she was experiencing in her home at the hands of my sister, and we later discovered a lot of financial abuse had taken place as well.

I would talk to APS, the public guardian, and the attorneys to find out what can be done. If she has a public guardian, the guardian should be able to take the appropriate actions in conjunction with the attorneys to ensure mom's best interest.

I agree with FrazzledMaMa that you need to contact the Adult Protective Services public guardian and lawyers and update them about your Mom's situation. Tell them what you have told us that your Mom "is afraid of (your) sister and living in her home now from abuse and wants to sell the house".

You state: "We are trying not to end up homeless." Whose house does your Mom want to sell? Why would you and she become homeless? Are you living in your sister's house and taking care of your Mom there? Do you own a house or are you renting? If your Mom came to live with you; would you have to move to a house that is more "disability friendly"? Do you have the financial means to purchase a house?

Lori,
There will be answers soon, so keep checking back several times a day.

I believe there is help for your problem.

That's horrible!!! :( . So sorry to hear you're going through that. Betrayal by family
is the most painful thing to deal with.

I've heard of this type of thing happening. I sort of had to deal with it myself, although
not with family members. It was still disheartening, but nothing like dealing with betrayal by family.


I would find a top elder law attorney to look at case for you. Someone who only deals
with elder law and has good connections. Document everything in a brief unemotional
manner. I wish you the very best of luck. Know that you're not alone. I'm afraid this type of thing happens quite a bit, but it still doesn't make it any less painful. Take good
care of yourself too. As hard as it is, try and keep your diet and exercise routine up
and if you don't have that start. When I had to deal with folks trying to take father's
$$ at same time as dealing with his serious health crises back to back, I didn't realize
the longevity of the situation and ate poorly, tried to go it alone without support, didn't exercise, starting drinking a few drinks every night to deal with stress. That was a very big mistake and my health, mental and physical took a huge hit.

When dealing with the stress of betrayal and possible legal wranglings on top of helping
an aging parent, your mental and physical health is the most important thing to watch
out for. Again wishing you the very best of luck!!