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We have a resident who very often thinks that her husband/father (it fluctuates between the two) is dying or has just died. She is so often grieving for them as if they just died. Can anyone offer suggestions in dealing with this. For example, she will say "I wish there was some way I could call/visit the hospital and see if he's still there." If we say, "Sorry, he died a long time ago," I don't think that is terribly effective. Also, she sometimes gets her days and nights mixed up and will come downstairs at 9 p.m. thinking it is morning.

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I found it. Teepa Snow. That's who I was looking for.
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I sometimes read some posters recommend watching a youtube video of some expert showing how to redirect dementia/Alz patients. I just can't recall the name (uh oh- my memory.)

Can someone post the name of that Youtuber again? Thanks.
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"Oh, you must miss him! I know it's hard to be away from the people we love, do you want to tell me about him?"
"I'm sure he is being well cared for and they will let you know if there is a problem. Let's go check the menu to see what they are having for lunch today"
"I'm sorry you are feeling so sad. Is there anything I can do to help you right now?"
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What sort of facility are you working in? Is this a memory care unit, ALF, long-term care?

It is conscientious and caring of you to look for better ideas on how to handle this lady's distress. There is a wide range of techniques for reassuring and distracting people with dementia, it's a question of finding what works best for the individual. For example, you could try giving her reasons why it isn't possible to call the hospital "now" but you are sure "he" will be in good hands - it's outside visiting hours, for example, or it's dinner time now, let's think about it again after supper/in the morning. Or you could ask questions about the person, such as what he was like or what she and he used to enjoy doing together, and lead her towards more general subjects from there.

You're right that just correcting her and telling her the person she's missing has been dead for ages is harsh and potentially frightening for her. Has your employer not offered training in this area?
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I would redirect, give her an answer that doesn't induce grief. Tell her it's to late to early for visiting, Dr said they need all the rest they can get and asked us not to visit until he gives the okay. Tell her they know she loves them and they hope they will be seeing each other soon. You are dealing with a broken brain, treat it with tender care.

You say resident so I assume you are a paid caregiver in a facility. Do they not train or require training in dealing with the elderly? If not, read everything you can on this forum, it will give you training on how to deal with issues from 1st hand experience.
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