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Caretaker of a lady for almost 3 years. No family, and I have been the only human contact she has had majority of the time. A few friends visited. I took great care of her and stayed on top of ALOT. She has dementia, and evenings within the past 3 months has gotten worse. Not daily but here and there. Dr prescribed a new med and started on June 20th. Her son lives out of state and is paralyzed. Hasn't seen her in 2 years. Unaware of quite a bit with her. I communicated with him and logged books ECT. He chose assisted living facility. Really put it all in my lap to do. I communicated with him about the timing and I couldn't do it all within 3 days with what he scheduled for move in date. Agreed to allow me to build a team and do it correctly. Unfortunately he actually kept the date lied to me the day of and it was a unorganized, threw together disrespectful mess. He didn't want to tell her. In middle of the day with this taken place he called my office and no longer wanted me to work with the lady and wanted me to leave the house. My boss told me to stay and do what needed to be done. So, now I can't even visit her. Found out 2nd time I went to visit her. PLEASE can someone please help!

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Perhaps you could arrange to have a visit while being accompanied by someone approved by the son—maybe a staff person at the AL.

I am betting the son has been advised to do this by someone who got burned. The caregiving network, both in and out of facilities, is full of a bunch of bad-news people. We have had good people, but even more bad, unfortunately. 🙁

Maybe he will relax a bit about things when she is settled, but I doubt it.

My sister was an in-home aide. She would care for someone for a year or two, then be unceremoniously dumped when the person died or was moved to a NH. It’s just the way it is I think.
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Maybe son was told she should have no visitors until she settles in. If this is not the reason, its sad that he is alienating her. Can your boss talk to the son and explain that Mom should be able to see a familiar face.
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If you feel that an elder you formerly worked with is currently being abused you are a mandated reporter and should know to call APS or the police for direction in this matter, to say nothing of "your boss".

However, this is complicated by the fact that the caregiver is the POA.
You have no rights of visitation in this matter.
Turn this over to the authorities.
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You cannot do anything to visit your former client in AL when her POA specified No Visitors. She'll have plenty of human contact now, however, which is good. Its not recommended to tell a dementia patient ahead of time about a move into AL, so her son was not being disrespectful by keeping her in the dark. I suggest you do the same by not going to visit her.

I'm sorry you're in this position and I recognize how difficult it must be for you. Best of luck.
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Moms2girls, I’m not an expert but I’ve been around this forum for awhile and I believe the POA has the right to limit visitors. I’m very sorry you’re in this position, I’m sure it’s distressing.
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