After caring for Mom for 41/2 years, she moved into memory care and has been a resident for 1 year and 3 months.
To help pay for her monthly assisted living care, we decided to sell her home. We got a lawyer to find out how much she owes to reverse mortgage. Reverse mortgage turned the loan over to HUD before we could sell it. She lost her house to foreclosure . So we got no money for her home.
Mom had about 6 months of savings plus her social security income to pay for memory care. We now pay $2960 and she pays the rest and prescriptions with her social security income.
None of the 3 siblings (I am the 4th sibling) will help pay for her memory care. This is draining our savings. What can we do to get financial help? She’s on Medicare. We were told by phone by an employee of veteran financial services that she didn’t qualify so we didn’t complete the paperwork. She was a Navy wife for over 30 years. Should we complete the paperwork?
Does anyone have advice or suggestions in getting more financial help? How do I get my siblings to help? Two of the siblings are capable of helping with the expenses. One brother could help some.
In addition I moved all her furniture and belongings into storage and am paying monthly fee. Trying to get siblings to come get what they want and help sell the rest. Any suggestions on what to do with the items?
Thank you for any input you have.
if your mom lives another 10 years , you and your siblings could be paying over $ 100,000..do the math.
call your county office for aged and disabilities , a great place to start.… start the Medicaid process. Apply for aide and attendance ( I worked with my county VA office .. they are not the VA. ) payment is retroactive to application date) I believe her husband would have needed to serve during wartime ..
Yes fill out the veteran's paperwork. Took me a year to get that settled but my father got back pay and $1900 a month. However I think Medicaid would be the better way to go.
And tell the truth you should not be spending your own assets either. (who will support you when you have spent all your money on someone else?)
I hope that you find a way to get help for your mother’s care.
Please speak with someone who specializes in Medicaid.
I suggest that you contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission or your State's Veteran's Service Officer. The other 2 places that can help would be the VFW and the American Legion. NONE of these will charge for their services.
Is she on Medicaid? Talk to the facility Social Worker and see if they can help that process.
Give Siblings a deadline for when you plan on selling the other belongings that are in storage. (I would send a letter with a signature required and return verification to you.) ((I hope you are POA and have "authority" to sell items to pay for her care))
The key issue is getting siblings to help pay. We wonder if we can get legal help to get them to help pay. Some says we can’t force them. Some say get a lawyer but some say it will be an expensive and lengthy process which we can’t afford. Again it’s a very difficult and complicated situation.