I live in CA, my brother lives in MI, near my parents (age 82 and 83). They've both had a lot of medical issues, and I'm convinced they need to be in nursing home, and definitely can't stay at home. My brother has been doing a good job of shuttling them to medical appts and talking to the doctors so he knows what's going on.
But he often talks like Mom and Dad are just sick, and can live by themselves if they ' just take care of themselves'. First, the past five years they've done nothing to take care of themselves. Mom has been to the emergency room 4 times in five years because Mom and Dad let some medical problem get to that point. They have no idea of their medical situation when I ask them.
My brother has been very dutiful, but I think he's in denial about what we need to do - talk POA, estate planning, finding a nursing home, etc. He's angry and frustrated over our parents not taking care of themselves. I keep telling him they never will.
I've flown in every time there is an emergency and we've begged, reasoned, demanded they do what the doctors have asked. They don't take their meds, don't do the exercises they're supposed to... won't quit smoking although they both have COPD. Things have just gotten to that point. He sort of agrees.... then says 'if they just took better care...' I guess I need to step in and start doing this stuff myself. The MI estate planning lawyers I spoke to said 'sure, come in with your parents we can do a free consultation.' I can fly to MI a couple times a year, but I can only take so much time off from work.
I'm not even sure what I'm asking.... anyone know how much can be done remotely? Could I be a guardian if I live across the country? Can I get POA if I live far away from my parents?