LO doesn't think her husband is her husband.

I believe JoAnn is correct about people remembering people in their younger years.

I met a woman who was a permanent resident in the facility where my mom did rehab. She thought she was only 32 years old and that her son was 9 years old. It was very sad. She had no idea who her son was when he went to see her.

I think too those with Dementia remember LOs when they were younger. Now they see an older version and don't recognize them. Some see sons or daughters and think they are spouses if they resemble the spouse.

It is called Capgras. Check out

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/impostor-syndrome-capgras

and

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34033319/#:~:text=Capgras%20syndrome%20(CS)%2C%20or,inanimate%20object%20or%20an%20animal.

regarding it.

Then continue on searching out even more. Gain as much knowledge as you can to help cope with this. We experienced it and it is a nightmare from the deepest pits of a broken mind.

We were prepared for just about anything to keep MIL in her house until she died. Then the Capgras hit. Because of the suspected LBD component, they wouldn't prescribe medications until she was in a 24/7 facility. Guardianship was required (by Oregon -- POA wasn't enough) to do that. That was done and eventually we got her placed in MC. We absolutely HAD to as Capgras was THAT bad.

For your safety and hers, place her now before she gets worse. The best way to help her is to medicate her in a controlled location.

Good luck.

I'd get the doc to prescribe meds for mom if this agitation lasts for hours! My mother did well, or better, with Ativan when she was insisting her dead parents and siblings were being hidden away from her at the Memory Care Assisted Living she lived in. Nothing would deter her from her search for them, which is when I asked for meds. It's not fair to have her THIS upset for so long w/o getting her calming meds.

Good luck to you.

You're doing as well as could be expected in a difficult situation. You could ask her doctor for calming meds, or you could redirect her every time she brings it up.

Or you might try telling her that husband called and said he'd be late. Keep telling her that. If you want to get into deceptive techniques, and I don't see anything wrong with that, you could have her husband call voicemail and leave a message that he's on the way or has to spend another night at brother's. Then play the same voicemail for her every time she asks about him. You could even have a variety of voicemails to play.

Good luck!