I am dating a really fantastic guy (early 30s) who is responsible, capable, owns his home, and is pretty much who I'd always hoped to meet - but his parents (early 70s, mostly decent health for their age) live with him. This isn't a problem for me theoretically, but the idea of being a newlywed immediately moving into a home with in-laws involved in daily life is more than daunting, no matter how much I like them. He is trying to structure things for some privacy in the home, but he does not want for them to have to move out, and I am attempting to wrap my mind around this idea to see if it could possibly work.
See, from my perspective, his parents are healthier and younger than many older couples I know who are still able to live on their own, happily. His mother does have several medical issues that affect her unevenly - sometimes she's very mobile, other times has very low energy and moderate pain - but they aren't at a place of needing in-home care yet, as far as I can tell. In my mind, there's nothing unkind or wrong about perhaps asking his parents to live in a nearby but completely separate apartment for the first year of our (possible) marriage, where we could still be available to help at a moment's notice, in order to give us the best chance of starting off on the right foot together. But my BF doesn't seem to see the need for this, and I'm wondering if I'm missing something because my parents are quite a bit younger than his, and maybe I just don't understand yet what that's like.
I am trying to find advice and resources for this scenario, but all I can find is about young-marrieds living with parents in the parents' home, or folks older than my BF and I who already have families and are considering having parents move in with them. Help, anyone???