After a series of sad events for my husband's family, we decided to move in with my father-in-law to keep him company, and help drive him to dr. appts. etc.
My husband (33) and I (32) married about a year and half ago at the end of September. Just a few weeks after our wedding my mother-in-law passed away after battling Leukemia. My father-in-law also lost two of his close sisters that same year, one just a few weeks after my mother-in-law passed. And then a few weeks after that my father-in-law suffered a series of small strokes. He fortunately is able to function on his own, only his vision suffered and he is unable to drive.
I freelance and work from home so I am the one that takes my father-in-law to dr. appts, the supermarket, bank, post office, etc. I also spend the whole day, almost every day, at the house with him.
The house is small, so there is really no privacy. My father-in-law will even walk into our room every night, say good night and talk to my husband for a few minutes. His room is 3 feet across the hall.
He also does absolutely everything for my husband. He was making his lunch for work until I insisted that I do it. Yet, even though he knew it bothered me, he still puts the lunch together in the cooler early in the morning and puts it by the door for my husband. He will also make him a coffee, get him something to eat....like he is a child.
He also informs me that we need to do things for my husband, like get the oil changed in his car, get his car inspected, etc. I feel like my father-in-law and I are taking care of a little kid together.
I would gladly do these things for my husband, my father-in-law just does everything before I can. My father-in-law decides what we are eating for dinner every single day, and I am expected to come down and cook it with him. The two of us, cooking side by side, every night.
I have just tried ignoring these things for the past year and a half, because I felt so bad for my father-in-law. But I hardly feel that any more, just resentment. I have no privacy with my husband, and his father is involved in our lives so much more than I want.
I am also realizing that as my father-in-law ages, I am going to have to be the caregiver, and I just can't do it. I already do everything around the house, I just can't take care of him for what could be another 10 years or more.
I have tried talking to my husband about establishing boundaries with is father, but a lot of the time he just doesn't want to hear it. I understand how he is in a tough situation. But it is getting to the point where I feel like the only way out of this is divorce. I am sad to think that my marriage hardly had a chance. It has only been a year and a half and I feel like it's already falling apart.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?