My mother has a loss of hearing and always has the TV on full volume. She always makes me feel guilty for asking her to turn it down. She refuses to have a hearing test. Can you help me?

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I live with and care for my 92 yr old mother. she has a hearing loss and always has TV on full volume and when I ask her to turn it down she tries to make me feel like its all my fault. Refuses to have a hearing test. She tells me to put ear plugs in and I let her know I wont hear her if she needs me. GUILT GUILT. Can you help me.

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Since she will use the wireless headset for your brother but not for you, she is just being stubborn. If my 96 yr old father (who lives with me) behaved like this, I would remove the TV in the living room and put it in his bedroom.
Blessings,
Jamie
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Use the closed captions and shut the volume off and I would put money on she will want to get the hearing test! I had to do something similar with my mother after she got in an accident. I told her if she couldn't hear the judge in court he'd take her license away..yup that worked!
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My Mom who has dementia has the tv at full volume as well. My Dad tolerates it, but doesn't like it. When she turns the TV on when I am there I leave the room or I go home. She too tries to make me feel guilty and tells me something is wrong with ears! But it literally hurts my ears!  She refuses to wear any sort of hearing aid or hearing amplifier for the TV.   She also won't do the close caption.  Trying to rationalize anything, with a dementia patient is almost impossible from my experience!   So, do I punish my Dad and continue to leave when she turns the tv on?  It takes a lot of stress off him when I am there.....
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i agree withg the headphones idea..my elderly mother lives with me and i insist she wears them..i actually witnessed her lose her hearing by her allowing my hard of hearing dad to ramp up the volume every night ,as she'd sit and tolerate it and watch tv with him..there's nobody i love so much that i'll allow myself to go deaf for the sake of being nice to them
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Alison, great minds think alike! ;)
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Oh yeah, forgot that part... softening wax before removal is helpful/necessary to avoid pain. So you can use the over-counter drops for a period of time before office visit. The drops don't hurt anything and although they may not remove the wax (because wax is now too impacted, been in place too long, for removal/softening drops to work completely), there's no downside that I'm aware of to using the drops.
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Ha! Onlygirl, was about to post same thing! Both my GM and father have issues with hard of hearing. Both greatly benefited from ear wax removal. There are over-counter kits but I recommend starting with in-office procedure done by Ear Nose Throat docs. A couple of docs and nurses over the years have told me that a high percentage of elderly with hearing difficulty actually only need wax removal. Start there. Good luck!
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Just took my mother to have her hearing aids checked. Prior to that, I knew she had had a problem with wax in the ears. I went to an audiology website and researched wax in the ears. Gross but amazing how this stuff plugs up your ears! Purchased an ear wax kit for my Mom. AL nurse put drops in every 4 hrs during the day and once at night. Put cotton balls in each time and for the night. This softened up the wax so that it could be removed at Beltone by the audiologist. The wax can actually adhere to the sides of the ear canal so softening it makes it easier. She did this for 3 - 4 days prior to office visit.

Sure enough, her ears were 100% blocked in one, and 75% in another. Watched the removal of wax on the computer. Again, gross, but interesting.

Also, learned that her hearing aids can be adjusted with a program download to the aids. My late father made her buy them but she was too vain to wear them until the Speech Therapist and I said we were having to talk loudly to her. Plus, TV was very loud, too.

Learned that she should have been going in each qtr for a check up and to clean her hearing aids (wax gets on them also). This is included in price of the hearing aids. THE THINGS OUR PARENTS DON'T TELL THEIR KIDS...auurghhh! Anyway, if your parent can't hear, they can cognitively decline.

As far as loudness of TV, I have noticed that the newer TVs speakers are terrible. My Mom could hear better if the speakers were facing her. (We attached extra speakers.) Also, wireless speakers are excellent. They can be bought at big box electronics store or online. You can put these right beside your parent who can turn it up or down when they want. Keeps the TV from blasting the neighbors.

Hope this helps!
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That is a difficult situation, especially if you're living with them. It can really damage a relationship and isolate everyone involved. My suggestions would be to try to rationalize with her and explain how difficult and stressful the loud television is to you, try the closed caption as mentioned, position her chair closer to the tv if possible, or try an assistive listening device like headphones or the Audio Fox wireless speaker system if she doesn't want to wear headphones. Good Luck!
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Thank you all for your comments. They are helpful. My brother hooked up ear buds to the back of the TV and she can hear good and I am happy also BUT she refuses to wear them when he leaves. She feels it is my problem and not hers. She just doesn't care if it bothers me or the neighbors.
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