Where can I find living arrangements for low income Dad who's an alcoholic? - AgingCare.com

Where can I find living arrangements for low income Dad who's an alcoholic?


Dad moved in with me last month. He lived in the backwoods, 7 miles from nearest town, reliant on driving. With the terrible winter in the east and a broken down vehicle, he'd become housebound, and getting more feeble. I got him Meals on Wheels so he'd have at least one decent meal per day.

His monthly income is totally from SS, $900/mo. He did not own the place where he was staying, and he has no other assets to sell.

So we moved him (and his dog) 2500 miles to stay with me. BAD mistake. He's an alcoholic, drinks in his room, thinking I cant tell. Last night he was stumbling around naked, incoherent, and had an "accident" (poop in the hallway) before he could make it to the bathroom.

He has a long-standing problem with alcohol, which I began noticing when he was about age 50. He didn't drink when I was a kid, but made up for it when he got older. He got a DUI a few years ago.

My poor mother went through hell with him and died a couple years ago, I think to get away from him. Since I haven't lived with him for a long time, I didn't realize how bad his alcohol problem is.

He's been examined twice by doctors in the last 6 months. They have pronounced him "mentally competent," and fine on his own. If he's not drinking, he's alert and even charming.

Dad is totally stubborn and wants to do things his way. He won't apply for Medicaid, and won't go to AA or other treatment. I'm not going to let him ruin my my own life, as it's intolerable to have a volatile drunk in my house.

I work full time,and am not in a position to be a caretaker. I'm also not going to pay thousands per month for a live-in caretaker or assisted living (not that we have the money, or that he'd go anyway, or even that he'd qualify, since 2 different medical professionals have determined that he's "competent").

Does anyone have any suggestions on what resources might be available to provide to him before he's out on the street?

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The home in Virginia was not his. I'm not interested in spending any more money on him to find him a decent place to live, as he doesn't appreciate it, and will just hole up and drink.

I'm planning to tell him he either needs to seek real treatment and counseling, or else find his own way and place to live. This week. Thanks for everyone's thoughts and suggestions!
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witsend77, please clarify... in a previous question you had written about your Dad, you said that he own his home and that you had planned to sell it. Were you unable to sell or was he renting that home in Virginia?

I assume your Dad living inside your home? You had mentioned earlier of purchasing a trailer for him to be placed on your land.... did not work out? If he is living within your home, I can understand your concern about his drinking, I wouldn't like that, either.

Contact your local agency on aging to see if they have any recommendations for low income housing where your Dad could take his dog, or you care for his dog. Click on the link below... go to your State.... now click on your city/county. https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging
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If he is competent, as ruled by the doctors, you cannot make decisions for him. You can make decisions for yourself. Try to find him an apt., maybe a section 8. If he is drunk in his place, it will not be a problem, if he is drunk in public he will be evicted or arrested......the problem is the drinking.

Can you reason with him, tell him he has to go to rehab and you will welcome him back if he comitts, else he needs to move on. Can you have a family intervention to deliver the message?
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We live in town, easy walking distance to several grocery stores and a liquor store. I work full time, so he's unsupervised much of the day, and can easily obtain it. I do try to check his room. But he can hide or consume it without me knowing it, which I suspect is what he's doing.

I've hidden/locked up my own alcohol, which I rarely use in any event.
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Witsend, curious how does your Dad get his hands on the alcohol?
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