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My mom had a stroke 5 years ago. She is doing great but we are financially going down. I have help with taking care of my mom but sometimes I don't want to deal with her issues. I also have a brother who is borderline mentally retarded whose health isn't that great either. All I look forward to anymore is dealing with emotional issues from everyone who relies on me, financial debt, and a mother who I am tired of taking care of but who I love very much. I get so sick of myself bitching about everything and life. I see how tough others have it but I didn't ask for this. It is like I am an only child because no one can help take some of the responsibility from my shoulders. My brother can't help either and I can see after my mother passes away, that he is ALSO going to require 24 hour care one day.
Life really sucks right now and I feel guilty for resenting both my mom and brother. I also hate my dad for dying 12 years ago and leaving all of this responsibility to me. I can't even finish school because now we cannot afford it. Life sucks.,

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Yolanda, You are not alone, there is nothing wrong with you for feeling resentful, angry, or guilty. So many of us caregivers don't have a life. We accept it for a while because we feel that we're doing good, but at some point things begin to overwhelm, and the resentment starts. Caregiving is an incredibly difficult thing, and there is nothing wrong with wanting or needing to back off. I have recently had a series of problems with my mom and sent emails to relatives and friends to update them on her condition. Withing a couple of days I received phone calls from three of them, all of whom have had caregiving roles for parents and in-laws. To a person, they said "Take care of yourself first". They said that stress-related illness is the #1 enemy and killer of caregivers.

You will probably see lots of responses on here about this being a joyful journey, they took care of us so we should take care of them, etc. Just put it in the perspective that everyone has different relationships with their family and parents, some can happily be caregivers indefinitely, and some burn out. Glean what you can that is helpful and try not to let the rest bother you.

Hang in there, this site is here for you to vent and express your feelings. We are here for each other.
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