I've been dating this man and recently movedin wwith him at his grandfathers home. Recently he lost his job temporarily and I have been unable to keep a job since moving in as I was new to town and didnt have anything established before I moved in and its pretty far in the country and emotionally havent been solid enough to maintain good working relationships. I have a history of mental health issues. Nothing severe but...
His grandpa has always been a very hard worker. He homesteads his property on the hill and it's beautiful. He worked in the mines and on the docks, all while clearing and building his bit of land. Now he is in constant pain and has many health issues, but will not discuss anything with his grandson or I.
The reason its the two of us and not any of his children is complicated and the family dynamic is quite depressing. His children turned out the total opposite of him. Sloppy, lazy, broke, selfish, etc. And he is very angry and disappointed with them.
He is always complaining and saying how horrible it is out in the world and adamantly believes these facts he came up with in his head. He blames every bad thing on women working and voting. No jobs, drug use, traffic, seeing women in movies sends him on these tangents... My boyfriend and I come up for breakfast around 9 am and he always says good afternoon and goes on about how awful we are for taking a few extra hours in the morning for ourselves.
We always are trying to get him out of the house (because he can still get around and being a laborer his pride makes him get out) and work in the yard doing little tasks. We are doing everything we can to keep him busy and active and alert and make his last days pleasant. If we weren't there...nobody would be and he'd be getting out and doing yard work anyway and no one would be there to help if he got hurt.
He is getting forgetful and has always been a very private person and distracting. But with us around and his mind slipping more he is always blaming either of us for stealing tiny little things. Remotes, keys, phone numbers, etc just to mess with hum. Or stealing things like a walker he left at the hospital and selling it. Or stealing insurance paperwork he never updated so that we would get his license taken.
It's never ending. And our relationship is suffering badly. My emotions and mental stability is suffering. I am not the kind of person ro harm others...just be very depressed and anxiety attacks. I've lost any sense of who I am, what my goals are, everything.
I'm getting very involved with all the little family he has and its making the emotional distance I was keeping very difficult. I'm not really sure what I'm asking. The only advice I've been able to find is "don't take his violent verbal attacks personally". I'm having a very hard time doing that as I'm already emotional. I'm getting counselling but I just could use some advice. I'm super isolated. I just feel like this would be easier if he actually had dementia or something I could blame this behavior on.