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I am a live in caregiver in an Alzheimer's patients and her 50 year old sons home. The son works long hours and nights. The original purpose for living there was so she wasn't alone overnight when he was at work and I don't pay rent. He was to get up with her in the morning and be responsible for her care until he left for work anywhere between 2:30 and 5:30. He has an oustide service that he pays $320.00 a week to come 2 hours at 5:30pm to 7:30pm 5 days a week. to "give me a break" he claims. However the service sends a different person every time leaving me with the job of explaining the care details how to put her to bed, where stuff is etc. About 30% of the time they don't even show up or are late. Most of the Aides just come in my room and say they need help getting her to bed. I am not getting paid any money at all and this service gets $32.00 an hour. I have have informed the son of everything about what's going on with this service and how all work is being done by me. I've asked him can he pay me instead and eliminate this service he said no that I needed the "break". (It's more work than a break.) He pays them 320 a week and I am doing all the work and I get paid nothing and my responsibility just keeps getting more and more and no pay. He feels that I live for free that should be enough. I feel like I am on call 24 hours. I clean the house and take care of his mother. She needs constant attention. I feel like I am being taken advantage of. What should I do?

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Do you have a friend you can move in with while you find a real paying job? If so give your notice and leave. I would not give him any more than a week notice but less would be better. Since you are not being paid and you apparently do not have a contract you are not "bound" by what would a normal notice time might be.
Do NOT feel guilty.
You ARE being taken advantage of and if you continue doing what you are doing you will continue to be taken advantage of.
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First, stop "helping" the service! The son needs to provide direction. If he hasn't discussed the situation with the service managers or provided written directions, then let the aids call him at work. Go into your room and shut the door or leave the house while the aids are there; after all it's your "break". Give the son an opportunity to be educated about how effective the hired service is.

Second, start a journal with the time of day, care you provided, and how long it takes. Everything you are doing outside of the "overnight" is completely uncompensated, so document what's happening.

Third, start looking around for a new living situation. Have someplace to go before opening your next round of discussions. Maybe apply to be a care giver with the service so you can be appropriately compensated for being needed.

Fourth, add up that uncompensated time you are actually spending on Mom's care. If son is paying the service $320 for 10 hours a week, then he needs to pay you a similar rate for at least the hours of uncompensated care you are providing.

Fifth, stop providing _any_ care when the son is not working. Let him pick up the care giving load and/or pay the service for any respite hours he gets.

Sixth, tell him he pays you, at least based on the actual care giving effort (which is still a break for him since he pays the service whether they provide care during the scheduled time or not) each week, or you will be moving out in 10-14 days. Make sure you keep your journal in your procession. Allow the son to look at copies only. If he doesn't pay you, then move on!

Are you living in the mother's house? One possible motivation for having the service in on his work days is to document he provided needed care to keep his mother out of LTC so he can acquire the house after her death.
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You are a modern day slave. You need to take control of your life. Room and board only in exchange for providing care is not legal.

Where do you get funds for the things you need, clothing etc?

Do you want to stay there? Or move on?
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Are you related? Aides that live in get a salary. You don't pay rent, your an employee. See if your labor board has rules/laws concerning "live in help". This man may owe u big time. As said, you r a slave.

I also agree, write things down in a folder. Or on a white board. Put it where a new aide will see it. When asked for help, tell the aides you are off duty.

You need to find another position. When u can move, call APS and tell them you are not being paid and are leaving a vulnerable adult. Explaining that the only aides being paid are there a short time.
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worriedinCali Jan 2020
Federal law requires that live in- caregivers be paid at least minimum wage. Fair Labor Standards Act.
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If you cannot quit, tell him the agency needs to send an aid that can handle her, or tell him you want the money.
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Quit & find another job.
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Raise these concerns and give yourself a time period and exit plan.
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What should you do? Leave. Go and live somewhere else.

Do you have a job outside the home? What income are you living on?
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Move Out?
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Slavery is illegal in all 50 states. Free room board is modern day slavery. Under the fair standards labor act, your employer is required to pay you at least minimum wage. FSLA requires that a live in caregiver who lives in the home full time be paid. It also applies if you spend A period of time staying there— 120 hours per week or 5 consecutive days/nights with the client.
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JoAnn29 Jan 2020
Does it say anything about deducting rent from ur salary like that one poster said was being done. Just curious.
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