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My dad has dementia and has been in a memory care ALF for over 2.5 years. He went under Hospice care about 6 weeks ago. Anyone have any input as to how long their LO went on after Hospice stepped in? I don't know what to expect. I know it does not necessarily mean he will go near-term. I'm just very hopeful he does not drag on this way for many more years. Some of the residents at his facility have been there for 10 years or more. I'm hoping Hospice care is a sign we can wind this down peacefully without consuming a significant portion of the remainder of my life.

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Its okay to want his suffering to be over. Don't be hard on yourself for not wanting this to go on for 10 years.

I pray that he is blessed with a quick, peaceful passing.

Hugs! You have been through it with your parents and no doubt you are just exhausted. Try to take care of you.
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I just put my Dad on Hospice a week ago that also suffers from dementia (vascular dementia due to a stroke). It has progressed over the last 6 months and he needs a lot more help with ADLs, etc. I understand how you feel as I also just want my Dad to be at peace. I know this is not how he wants to live, and I can see how unhappy he is. Every day I feel so sad for him wishing there was something i could do to make his life a bit happier. I try my best, but i know he has given up and as he told me before the dementia got worse - he is done and wants to be with my Mom.

I don't know how long my Dad has - he suffers from heart related issues also, but all i am trying to do right now is keep him comfortable and be there for him as much as i can. My Mom was in hospice years back, and she passed within a week - so it really depends on the person and when it's their time. It is so hard to say but everyone is right that you just need to stay close to Hospice, and they will keep you informed. .

Be good to yourself and know you are doing the best you can each and every day. I know this is so hard. I am really sorry you are going through this.
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I have read that some here whose loved ones have been on hospice rally, graduate, taken off hospice, then back on, a roller coaster, for up to three years. Some here, as you read, it is a matter of days or weeks.

My mom who had Alzheimer's was evaluated for hospice in August 2017 and not accepted at that time. Two months later she was evaluated again, and accepted. She passed eight months later.

It is a very individual thing. There is no time table. Some think hospice rushed the death, which isn't the case. They all pass at their time. No crystal balls. Not even hospice knows but are the best source for educated guesses.
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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 9, 2019
Glad,

Have a question for you please. Do you think that the individual knows when they are dying most of the time? I do.

Maybe not in the case of a sudden death, tragic accident or heart attack but otherwise like a long suffering illness.

What’s your take on this?
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My original post probably sounds somewhat cold. My dad's mother had dementia and lingered for years in a mediocre facility - going blind and becoming bedridden. He ALWAYS told me he never wanted to end up that way. It's heartbreaking and I'm ready for it to be over. Thanks for your kind responses.
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I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this, but truthfully no one but the Almighty knows when it’s time. People pass on their own schedule and this schedule sometimes does not convenience their loved ones. My mother was on Hospice for only a week, yet I’ve heard of people who rallied and were taken off Hospice Care.

His Hospice team and the facility’s own staff can counsel you on what they are seeing with him. There are signs that a person may be ready to pass. Keep in close contact with them and they will keep you informed.
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It really depends on the individual and their illness. When my brother was in hospice (HepC) he left the end of life facility at one time. Did okay for awhile. When he returned though, he didn’t last long, less than a couple of weeks.

So sorry you are going through all of this. I hope you find peace.
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