Do you ever wonder if you can “find” your way back after caring for a live in family member? I am seriously concerned the damage can’t be undone. In my case its my FIL. I’ll spare the details of all of the reasons I do not have any respect for him, but can tell you that it has a major impact on our relationship. Yes, I have talked to hubs about how I feel many many times.... we finally hired an in home service to come out once a week to get him to bathe and change clothes, this was the first week..... after she left I was so disappointed, when I had been very clear about the need for thorough bathroom cleaning. She did everything else wonderful and took the trash in the bathroom out. I looked in there this morning and see that she only swiped around the inside of the bowl, leaving the sides and around the floor a mess. Maybe I’m too picky but when you clean a toilet it is too to bottom inside and out.... I was wondering why the bathroom still smelled so bad. After I checked out the toilet itself, I had the awesome discovery of finding FILs underwear in the trash full of poop. I am so disgusted and worn out. The “benchmark” for removing him from our home (according to my husband) is when he cannot toilet and or needs to be hand fed. This has so sucked the joy out of my life that I worry things may never be the same between me and my husband. I know we will not just “spring right back”, and hell for that matter, we may go first! I am beyond depressed and feel hopeless....so sad.