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both my parents are 86 years old, father is in pretty good shape, mom has to use a walker, but neither suffers from dementia. I help as much as I can, but I need a day once in a while to clear my head from their constant bickering and spend a lot of time with them, but can't always watch the same program over and over again, they get upset after 2 hrs. after watching TV and I want to leave, they never verbalize it, but I get the cold shoulder. Can anyone give me some advice for letting them know that I need time for myself and go out for a day with a friend without this negative attitude towards me? Any advise would be appreciated.

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My mom doesn't trust me in her home. Things that she says I steel from her like to we've got in an?
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If you've told your mother that you've gone out and when you'll be back and she calls you several times to ask where you are, can you really say that she is clear minded? She needs a workup by a neurologist who specializes in dementia and nemory loss issues.
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Thanks again and now I feel better on how to try to handle the situations. Have a good nite.
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I would carry my cell phone. Whether you answer their calls is another question. Instruct them that if there is an emergency they must call 911 -- that you might be too far away to be of help. Tell them to call you ONLY after they call 911.

Do they have a white board in their apartment? On it, or on a large sheet of paper on the refrigerator or whatever is the central message area of their place, write in bold letters Hopeful gone all day Friday. Home late. See you for Saturday breakfast!"

I can understand them wanting to know when to expect you; they shouldn't have to call you to find that out.
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Thank you jeannegibbs for your suggestion. I will definitely try to just tell them that I will be gone for a day and like you suggested, make sure that they know what to do in an emergency and they have the food and their meds in order. Do you suggest that I carry my cell phone so that they can call me. When I went out before, I received 3 calls from my mom asking where am I and when am I going to be home, meanwhile my dad is with her. How would I remedy these calls? appreciate your previous response and will definitely try what you suggest. Thanks.
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"Mom, Dad, I'm going to be gone all day tomorrow. Let's make sure you have everything you need here, and figure out an easy meal for your dinner. And let's review what you would do in an emergency."

Seems pretty straight-forward to me. You certainly don't ask their permission. You tell them you will be gone and help them prepare for a day alone. If they really cannot be left alone, then that is a different issue, but assuming they don't need 24 hour care, tell them and go. They have a negative attitude when you get home? Ignore it. If it becomes overbearing, leave. "Hmm. It seems like you are not enjoying my presence right now. Think I'll run on downstairs. I'll see you tomorrow."
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