My Mum (90) didn't follow-up on a financial matter when she said she did. Should I let it go or remind her?

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Mother is very lucid about the distant past and has a great sense of humor in general. However, as I work daily, I leave it to her to follow up on an overdrawn account letter from her bank or a needed letter that only she can request from her teacher's retirement agency at the state level. I was there once when they called and gave her a number and extension to call, only because I took that day off from work and happened by the phone when it rang and she picked up. She assured me the next day that she had calle dand requested the document needed so we can qualify her for a Home Attendant. It troubled me in my sleep a few nights later, so I called the agency from work the next day, only to find out the document has NOT been requested for this year 2015, as I instructed Mum to do. Should I throw it in her face and remind her that she did not do as required, or say nothing. Nothing short term seems to "stick" anymore for more than a few seconds. "Help Me" (Joni Mitchell)

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"Throw it in her face" was a poor choice of phrase. We all remember when we skirted the truth when our parents asked us if we made the grade at school, for example. I harken-back to those feelings as this comes full-circle and it feels like mom is intentionally not telling me the truth because she knows that she messed-up. To one of you, I am the oldest and only son, not a daughter. lol
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Put yourself in her place - you're already dealing with infirmities, probably have some recognition that you're not as mentally alert as you had been...would you want someone to "throw it" in your face?

Take a loving attitude and ask her how you can help her follow up on these issues, as well as any others with which she may be having trouble.

One day you may be in her position. How would you want your children to handle these kinds of issues?
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Guvna, 'throwit in her face'? REALLY! You acknowledge that she had short term memory issues. Read the Alzheimer's website alz.org for ideas on how to deal with memory issues. Mom needs your help, not your disdain. Going through phone queues can test the patience of a 60 year old, never mind a 90 year old. It is time to take a more active role so you can be the daughter you want to be. Have the paperwork set in a pile and you make the calls, You fill out the paperwork and review it with her (to make her feel she is in control) and have her sign it and you mail it in. Your Mom is 90, it is time to give her a well deserved respite from paperwork. Get the legal documents to be able to handle these assignments onher behalf and take it off her shoulders.
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Don't throw it in her face! - just ask her what happened about that letter. It's not an unreasonable question.

Is your mother's hearing all right? Check she's not having difficulty with making phone calls, perhaps; and make sure she's got a good, clear diary/To Do list somewhere convenient.
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Short term memory is the first to go usually. Also some people develop a "phobia" about making phone calls asking for stuff. It might be time for you to begin helping out with the idea of eventually taking it all over. Paperwork gets so confusing. If you don't have POA, now is the time while she is still lucid. If she develops dementia, it will be too late.

Not really much help, I guess, but just some assurance that it will eventually fall on you to do it all. Good luck!
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