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Okay, I am having a learning curve here. My platonic partner and I are aging in place. Typically we have his son come help with bathing him, but the other day he couldn't come. There is going to come a time when I am going to be doing more than taking his shoes and socks off. He is very concerned about his privacy, In the past, when i worked in group homes or as a home aide I would sit in the doorway while the client was behind the shower curtain or what have you, make sure they had a robe on and did not fall, prompt them to wash, etc. He said he's ok with me washing him but he's worried about me seeing his personals. would a jock cover him enough to give him a shred of privacy? And is this something that he can put on while seated on a shower chair so he could take it off at the end and wash himself up? If not could I add some snaps on my sewing machine? And do they come in a size that fits size 50 jeans? Like I said, we normally have his son come, but we do need a back up plan, and I am not a member of this team.....thanks

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will look into the bidet. Had not thought of that. Thanks
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HE didn't/ doesn't care about putting size out there. If you actually knew him he is was really open about MOST of his life, yet everyone has limits. my goodness. . plus, its not like his address is right next to it. and yes, the size of the item was a big part of the problem. They don't come in size FIFTY. I had to sew it. sheesh.
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Just a thought but you must have horseshoe seats for your showers/baths over there. If you use that then his private area would be in the arena of the horseshoe and therefore accessible from underneath - a small towel/wash cloth over the area would protect his modesty while the business end was dealt with from underneath and using a no rinse soap is the easiest way.

I have to admit I have only ever had to deal with this once and I didn't have the problem. My only comment that might mean you NEED to see what you are doing is what if there was an infection or the area was sore in any way?

If he can wash the area himself why not let him do that on the toilet - you can buy bidet inserts so he could do that then he could put on a pairs of shorts and you could shower him normally. You can buy one for about $11 on amazon - look for Easy Comforts Instant Bidet. You cannot use it on a raised toilet seat though so be warned - it would not be stable
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GA, to be fair, the man's size was part of the problem, she couldn't just go to the store and pick out what she wanted.

Ruthie, I'm glad you all found a solution!
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I'm glad this gentleman was able to get some assistance from a man who understood the issues.

I would offer you a bit more advice though, and that's to be more circumspect about discussing someone's personal attributes beyond the issue of cleanliness.
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Okay, I wanted to get back to you and thank you for those who answered. I had TWO WEEKS of respite....aahhh.....much needed. so this is what I found out. I actually had my first trip to the mens section of the sporting goods underthings store when I was out of town..I see what you mean about the ATHLETIC SUPPORTER vs jock...LOL LOL LOL. not really working out...I wasn't the kind of person who gave a hoot about sports, so who knew? Meanwhile...while I was gone, the respite worker was able to figure out that his reference to "serious protection" meant he WANTED an athletic supporter. So, the two of us were sort of on the same page. I just had no idea what he was talking about. He wears a 5x, so it took a little bit of doing to cut the elastic and finish it, and add more, however, once that was done, it fit him okay. The (male) respite worker was also having a hard time getting him to wash there as well, and had a talk with the son, who pretty much said that he didn't really know if his dad washed there or not. So that was helpful information. Based on the " washcloth basket ball game" we had going, the respite worker had the ingenious idea to record some locker room B roll ( partner is also a movie buff and loved to record home movies) and one way or another was able to play the sound track of it, and it's been enough of a cue to get him to participate in his own washing MUCH more....WITH the "serious protection" and a few rather crude references to avoiding the clap....he washes his own self and makes a huge joke about it. Talks about getting ready to go out on a date after basket ball practice. LOVES the Athletic Supporter. And now I know the difference as well. I got quite an education about mens underwear Options. grateful for the knowledge. Thanks for the help. After this, I am willing to answer any question about the basic care needs of older lesbians on this board. It's sort of different than these young kids who are on the news now...I'm glad they have it easier than my generation did.....I had a lot of brothers, but times were different then and because times were different, there is a family wedge still to this day, and so I get to ask you kind folks these very basic things. thanks for the help.
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@ruthieruth, kudos to you for being so diligent and tenacious in trying to help him out. Best of luck!
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Apparently it is OK for his son to shower him because his son is another man. So why not arrange for another male to help when needed? If you can't come up with a friend or relative willing to help out, there are bath aides who do that as a job. Would his doctor order that for him?
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Just get one of the NoRinse products - he can apply it himself while you turn your face away. That's it - the cleansing mixture doesn't have to be rinsed off and he doesn't have to worry about the family jewels being seen.
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Oh wait..how do I know what size to get is it a one size fits most kind of deal or like a bra, where size matters.....lol?
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yeah, thanks I saw that. I wasn't sure if they could be modified to where he could get them on and off from basically a seated position. I couldn't tell from the close up on my phone.. maybe i will buy one and just use the cup part and fabricate some kind of snappable strap, or velcro strap. time is so precious......thanks!
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Amazon sells mens g-strings and thongs in sizes up to 2X.
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So at the risk of looking stupid again, is it theoretically possible to put a snap on the side of a jock or one of those modesty leaf pouches? He is about 280 pounds and I am 98 pounds and we really only want to get up and down off the shower chair ONCE. The apron MIGHT work, and I'm going to try to put some velcro on the sides of some shorts/large bathing trunks as well.....Im sort of hoping I can wash his rear end while distracting him with a few wash cloths to toss at a basketball hoop strategically placed over the toilet....then can just let him finish up and hand him a robe. Fortunately he has not needed to towel dry for years due to COPD, we just drip dry with the robe on. But he has been getting UTI's. my guess is pretty soon he won't recognize WHO is bathing him, but ya know, if it was me in his shoes, I would not want to be remembering the moments when i was most afraid as a child when I was "losing" my adulthood. If I could somehow put a snap or maybe tie it so(or something) he could be totally "in the game" I have not seen one up close and It's kinda hard for me to get out...what do you think, is it worth trying also?
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Understand it's HIS issue , not yours. We get it. Well, you're in the drivers seat here, do what ever makes the most sense. I'm male, my mom is 84 and I've helped her bath several times using common sense methods to maintain her sense of modesty. I would use a little pajama top, get her situated and have her take it off, close my eyes tight, or so she thought, and do what had to be done. This ain't rocket science. Just do it!
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Another idea would be an old-fashioned apron (or make one out of a towel with long straps) that you could tie around his waist in the back, so that he couldn't toss it across the room. Good luck!!
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Thanks.....it's not my issue folks, it's HIS...he does NOT want me looking there. He had been molested by some female in his way past and i consider it a privilege that he trusts me enough to put lotion on the rest of his fragile skin. I can't find a bathing suit in his size....I am adapting some shorts. and getting my sewing machine out this weekend.....the other part of this is buy in....he LOVES sports, and when he is more aware of things that's all he talks about....I was thinking it might help him be less stressed out. The washcloth is a no go, his latest behavior is throwing any kind of wet fabric across the bathroom....lol...and thanks for the links...I HAVE been around the block a few times, but I missed the jock phase with my eleven brothers , as I left home pretty young, and the care homes where I worked were with women and then teen sexual predators where those items were not allowed. The ONLY reason I brought up my sexual orientation, cwille, is to explain my COMPLETE IGNORANCE of WHAT MIGHT WORK FOR SOMEONE WHO IS A VERY OLD MAN. Oh well. In this life, there is something for everyone, and some people seem to look for ways to try to belittle other people. At any rate, I appreciate the tips. By the way, I love staying open to these kinds of surprises in life....even though we are both poorer than dirt, I have never been cherished so much. Thanks for your all the tips every one! Really appreciated. !
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Ok, I couldn't let this go. I'm an old guy btw. I'm not sure you can even buy a jock strap these days. As far as I know it's all Lycra shorts worn under various athletic garments. The last jock strap I had was about 1963. It's already been suggested, but just get used to it. If I can bath and toilet my 84 year old mother you can do this. And he'll survive.
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I remembered reading about Hollywood love scenes - here you go...
baretique/maple-leaf-modesty-pouch-for-men/
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I remember reading somewhere here about a new product that could be worn for modesty, but I was never able to come up with a commercial source for this type of modesty clothing. I think there would be long bib type aprons for women and short ones for guys. It would need to be made of some type of drip dry material, (possibly what they use for swimsuits?) and would cover the embarrassing bits while still allowing access. It seemed like a brilliant idea, maybe you could figure out a way to adapt something like this??

What about just wearing a bathing suit, that would be way more practical than a jock strap.
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Why can't he/you place a washcloth over his privates while he's seated on the shower chair and he can take that off and use it to wash down there after you're done?
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Are you for real? Of course it is going to be embarrassing to bathe another person, and it certainly doesn't matter what your sexual preferences are. I certainly never dreamed I would be cleaning up my own mother after she soils herself either. You both need to get over it.
If he can stand in the shower he doesn't need help, if he is seated then cover him with a small towel. You can hand him a washcloth to clean his own private areas while you turn away, but unless you are blindfolded you are going to see him eventually. Just be nonchalant and professional.
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I don't think a jock strap is going to work, because they're designed to be pulled on almost like undershorts. How about a large washcloth or hand towel placed over his personals at the right time?

OR how about getting over the problem with seeing him completely nude? I'm surprised that you haven't gotten over that already, having worked as a home aide. It's a body part. He seems to be shy,,,but if he needs help....he's gonna have to get over that hurdle a bit. Try to laugh it off with him to ease the tension.

Good luck!
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