Lesbian needs advice about male jock? - AgingCare.com

Lesbian needs advice about male jock?

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Okay, I am having a learning curve here. My platonic partner and I are aging in place. Typically we have his son come help with bathing him, but the other day he couldn't come. There is going to come a time when I am going to be doing more than taking his shoes and socks off. He is very concerned about his privacy, In the past, when i worked in group homes or as a home aide I would sit in the doorway while the client was behind the shower curtain or what have you, make sure they had a robe on and did not fall, prompt them to wash, etc. He said he's ok with me washing him but he's worried about me seeing his personals. would a jock cover him enough to give him a shred of privacy? And is this something that he can put on while seated on a shower chair so he could take it off at the end and wash himself up? If not could I add some snaps on my sewing machine? And do they come in a size that fits size 50 jeans? Like I said, we normally have his son come, but we do need a back up plan, and I am not a member of this team.....thanks

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will look into the bidet. Had not thought of that. Thanks
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HE didn't/ doesn't care about putting size out there. If you actually knew him he is was really open about MOST of his life, yet everyone has limits. my goodness. . plus, its not like his address is right next to it. and yes, the size of the item was a big part of the problem. They don't come in size FIFTY. I had to sew it. sheesh.
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Just a thought but you must have horseshoe seats for your showers/baths over there. If you use that then his private area would be in the arena of the horseshoe and therefore accessible from underneath - a small towel/wash cloth over the area would protect his modesty while the business end was dealt with from underneath and using a no rinse soap is the easiest way.

I have to admit I have only ever had to deal with this once and I didn't have the problem. My only comment that might mean you NEED to see what you are doing is what if there was an infection or the area was sore in any way?

If he can wash the area himself why not let him do that on the toilet - you can buy bidet inserts so he could do that then he could put on a pairs of shorts and you could shower him normally. You can buy one for about $11 on amazon - look for Easy Comforts Instant Bidet. You cannot use it on a raised toilet seat though so be warned - it would not be stable
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GA, to be fair, the man's size was part of the problem, she couldn't just go to the store and pick out what she wanted.

Ruthie, I'm glad you all found a solution!
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I'm glad this gentleman was able to get some assistance from a man who understood the issues.

I would offer you a bit more advice though, and that's to be more circumspect about discussing someone's personal attributes beyond the issue of cleanliness.
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Okay, I wanted to get back to you and thank you for those who answered. I had TWO WEEKS of respite....aahhh.....much needed. so this is what I found out. I actually had my first trip to the mens section of the sporting goods underthings store when I was out of town..I see what you mean about the ATHLETIC SUPPORTER vs jock...LOL LOL LOL. not really working out...I wasn't the kind of person who gave a hoot about sports, so who knew? Meanwhile...while I was gone, the respite worker was able to figure out that his reference to "serious protection" meant he WANTED an athletic supporter. So, the two of us were sort of on the same page. I just had no idea what he was talking about. He wears a 5x, so it took a little bit of doing to cut the elastic and finish it, and add more, however, once that was done, it fit him okay. The (male) respite worker was also having a hard time getting him to wash there as well, and had a talk with the son, who pretty much said that he didn't really know if his dad washed there or not. So that was helpful information. Based on the " washcloth basket ball game" we had going, the respite worker had the ingenious idea to record some locker room B roll ( partner is also a movie buff and loved to record home movies) and one way or another was able to play the sound track of it, and it's been enough of a cue to get him to participate in his own washing MUCH more....WITH the "serious protection" and a few rather crude references to avoiding the clap....he washes his own self and makes a huge joke about it. Talks about getting ready to go out on a date after basket ball practice. LOVES the Athletic Supporter. And now I know the difference as well. I got quite an education about mens underwear Options. grateful for the knowledge. Thanks for the help. After this, I am willing to answer any question about the basic care needs of older lesbians on this board. It's sort of different than these young kids who are on the news now...I'm glad they have it easier than my generation did.....I had a lot of brothers, but times were different then and because times were different, there is a family wedge still to this day, and so I get to ask you kind folks these very basic things. thanks for the help.
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@ruthieruth, kudos to you for being so diligent and tenacious in trying to help him out. Best of luck!
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Apparently it is OK for his son to shower him because his son is another man. So why not arrange for another male to help when needed? If you can't come up with a friend or relative willing to help out, there are bath aides who do that as a job. Would his doctor order that for him?
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Just get one of the NoRinse products - he can apply it himself while you turn your face away. That's it - the cleansing mixture doesn't have to be rinsed off and he doesn't have to worry about the family jewels being seen.
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Oh wait..how do I know what size to get is it a one size fits most kind of deal or like a bra, where size matters.....lol?
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