Am I legally responsible to take my husband home when he is released from rehab in a local nursing home? - AgingCare.com

Am I legally responsible to take my husband home when he is released from rehab in a local nursing home?

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My husband had a stroke in 2009 and recently fell and broke his hip. I am 70 years old and I have health issues that make it difficult for me to care for him at home. Before the broken hip, he was living at home with me (helped by 4 hours per week from home health aides). He is wheel-chair bound and he is 74 years old.

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Aging, talk with the social worker at rehab. Tell them you are not able to care for him at home. SW will help you find an appropriate facility for him and yourself is you decide to move as well.

WARNING! The SW may try to pressure you into bring him back home. They may try to make you feel guilty for not complying with their request. Do not fall for it, you will need to stand firm. Call Adult Protective Services and the Area Agency on Aging for additional help!
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Be very clear and adamant with the rehab's social worker. State very plainly that you are physically unable to provide care for his needs. Don't waffle around about what you can and cannot do. Don't go into excessive detail about your own capabilities.
Once you've made that clear, then the next step is how to get him into a situation (whether with home care or an assisted living or skilled nursing facility) where he can get the care he needs. Your financial resources will determine the first step. If you can afford (and he is appropriate for) assisted living, then start shopping. Problem solved. If finances are not sufficient for him to be in AL and you to continue to have enough money to live on, then it becomes more complicated and a lot depends upon which state you're in.
Get with the social worker quickly and hash all of this out.
Do not take on more care than you should try to handle! Sorry to be blunt, but it will kill you and your husband will keep on chugging along. I've seen it happen many, many times. The caregiver dies before the patient.
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The main question here is where else would be available for him. Would he qualify for care in a nursing facility? Can you afford assisted living for him? He will need to go somewhere. Talk to the social worker at rehab to see what might be available, since you are unable to care for him at home.
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AgingWife, depending on your retirement fund, would it be possible to move to a retirement complex that has independent living, Assisted Living, and Continuing Care? That way you can either still be able to live together but the complex supplies the more difficult care that you just can't do any more. It's an option.

If retirement funds aren't available, then hubby can apply for Medicaid and move into a continuing care facility, and if there is a senior apartment complex in the same area where the rent charged depends on your income. That way you can go and visit hubby, have meals with him, etc.
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I totally relate to this question. My health is not good and getting worse with the added stress of wondering what is going to happen. My husband us in an assisted living senior care home. But over the last 4 months they suddenly started sending me outrageous bills that we can not afford. I am in the process of fighting them, but comming home is NOTan option. He would be falling, and his alzheimers has progressed to where he doesnt remember me. Please be strong! You are important, and you need to take care of yourself. It took me a very long time to realize this, i had to learn the hard way ((
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If your husband is a Veteran you would be able to contact the Veteran Administration and apply for the Aid and Attendance program.....you can also apply for Medicaid and he can be placed in a facility that will take him...you can also contact an elder care attorney for advice.
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I'll address the elephant in the room - I imagine that you found life a whole lot easier when he was in the hospital with that broken hip; maybe the first time since his stroke that you got to relax. Now, you don't WANT him back. I can understand why you are, maybe, dreading his home return, thinking that things will go back to what they were. I would follow the advice of the other posters - find a facility for him if you can afford it, contacting all the appropriate agencies you can. Don't feel guilty. Just do what you can. People change and caring for someone over a long period of time can wear a person down.
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Yes, he will be released to his legal residence (your home). But if you talk to the rehab center's social worker you can ask to apply for Medicare Hospice Care. He would be put on hospice in a memory care home, nursing home, or in your home. You would get much more help at home if you choose that route. For for information on Medicare Hospice, look here: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/Medicare-coverage-hospice-care-142914.htm
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Have you had a care plan with rehab staff to see what his needs will be and what level of assist you might have to provide? This is a key componant as you forward plan. This will help you make decisions about can you provide this at home with some paid help or what level of assisted living would be needed etc. You did not say what brought him into rehab this time. Another fall? Do you have family that can help you make some of these difficult decisions? All the best, not easy to be where you are.
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