Ethically? Do you know your mother's intentions? If she said something along the lines of "I'm listing you because I can trust you to be fair to the others," then I think you are obligated to be fair to the others. If she said, "I'm naming you because I've already given the equivalent to the others," or "I'm naming you because of your special needs," or anything else to indicate she clearly intended the policy payout to be exclusively yours, then, no, I don't think you are obligated to share.
If she made you the beneficiary at a time when you were the only one still her dependent and now none of you are dependents, your might consider sharing. In other words, if she simply hadn't gotten around to updating something that was clearly out of date, then perhaps you should take care of that oversight.
In my mind, I guess it comes down to carrying out your mother's wishes, or what your mother's wishes could reasonably be expected to be at the time of her death if she had given it thought.
Are other family members questioning the beneficiary designation at this time?
What did her will say. My grandmother made my uncle beneficiery of her insurance but stated in her will that the money should be divided among the three siblings. Make sure that you abide by her wishes and stay fair and that in the end you can live with yourself. Good luck
I feel that a parents assets should be divided equally among all their children...this saves a LOT of grief and bickering down the road. Even though I have done the majority of my Mom's caregiving, I discouraged her from putting everything in my name. I didn't want any "squeaky wheels" coming at me after the fact. However, when the parent is still alive ALL assets should be used for THEIR care. It is too premature and disrespectful to be thinking about inheritances while someone is still alive. I have always helped my Mom with her finances. But never thought of any of her assets as beloning to me or my siblings.
Your mother named you beneficiary of the policy for a reason. It is your money. As others have said it is up to you as to if you share it with siblings or not. Just be sure you have no guilty feelings if you don't.
My grandfather gave each of his sons a parcel of farm land when they married, and he gave each of his daughters cash for a downpayment when they bought their first house. If one daughter never bought a house, it would seem reasonable to me that if Grampa gave her something extra in his will or estate planning she shouldn't be expected to share it, any more than the sons shared their farmland or the other daughters shared their downpayment money.
W23456, enjoy your mother's last gift to you, without guilt, please.
My father-in-law has named my husband and one sister as the sole beneficiaries to multiple life insurance plans, retirements accounts and bank accounts. He has also arranged for his home to go into both their names to be sold after his death and to split the money. I was not at the meeting with the attorney however my husband does not have any paperwork explaining the details and his sister has been updating the insurance plans removing two siblings he has essentially written off. The sister has told one sibling and has been setting items from the home aside for the father. She also stepped in during to help her parents while there brother was terminally ill and against his wished she became the sole beneficiary to 12,000. after his death. He did not get along with her and would have never done this on his own. I have since found a letter he wrote giving his assets to his nephews and nieces.(not going to go there). I recently noticed she is listed on her fathers checking and savings account as POA and my husbands name is not. Is there a way to be sure she did not remove everyone but herself as beneficiary? When her mother passed she was given 40,000 cash as well. There are 4 children - my husband and her take care of their father however she is very manipulative. She has cleared out anything worth value from the inside of the home however we are not to take anything without her present or she complains to her father.......who then threatens to write off my husband. Mentally he is not all there and I am worried she will do something to hurt us in the long run. This seems sad to ask however we have three children and spend all out time helping him and she only shows up occasionally and has recently talked her dad into allowing her medical power of attorney (telling him there can only be one) that said the nursing home confides in us because she makes decisions that are harmful for him like buying him hit fat sugary foods and not allowing them to check his blood sugar level now that he is diabetic with congestive heart failure. Can we call the attorney to ask for copies? Do we know that all plans are being shared between them?? She has given herself a lot of funds and been in control of the conflict with the two written off children. She has no children to support and no need to be greedy but is. Is there anything we can do?
My Mom had her house put in a trust which was left to my sister and me in her will. I was the sole beneficiary of her bank account, which meant the money was all mine, just as an insurance policy would be. I just felt that I wanted to share the money with my sister, which I did. It is something you must feel right about.
I agree with coach. You aren't obligated to share the money. If you can keep the money without feelings of guilt then you are ahead of the game. My mother changed her will right before she died and left everything to my sister. I lived 8 mi from our mom, spent thousands of my own money when she ran short not to mention endless hours attending to her needs. We did not have a good relationship - ever - but I did it anyway because it was the right thing to do. My adult kids were right there with me. Mom died 11/30/10, my sister has yet to tell us. Sis' monetary contribution was small and very few hrs were ever spent helping our mother. She got everything. I guess she had no guilt whatsoever. I would've shared, had the tables been turned, but then we have a different outlook on things.
Can I sign my mom name to the policy with consent since she stays in another state and i maintain the policy. I pay all the premium and have since 2004. I signed her name to have the money deducted from my bank account as well. Can my sibling contest the policy if mom changed it to only me with proof why she had me sign her name?
I've paid all The insurance premiums on my moms policy and she made me beneficiary when she was well. As it is I've spent more on premiums then the death benefit. She had verbally left her house to me as I am disabled although I own my own but my siblings sold sold it to move her closer to me. Now I live with her as this closer thing doesn't work. Some of my siblings contribute for assistance for help. I've done all the improvements on the house yet they feel they will get there money back when mom becomes an angel. I think whatever we bought the house for is the monies that should be divided amgonsyvthem. Not the current market value. I can never get back my time What do people think Am I being greedy ? I feel no guilt at all. This is a 24/7!hour job. No life.
Ethically? Do you know your mother's intentions? If she said something along the lines of "I'm listing you because I can trust you to be fair to the others," then I think you are obligated to be fair to the others. If she said, "I'm naming you because I've already given the equivalent to the others," or "I'm naming you because of your special needs," or anything else to indicate she clearly intended the policy payout to be exclusively yours, then, no, I don't think you are obligated to share.
If she made you the beneficiary at a time when you were the only one still her dependent and now none of you are dependents, your might consider sharing. In other words, if she simply hadn't gotten around to updating something that was clearly out of date, then perhaps you should take care of that oversight.
In my mind, I guess it comes down to carrying out your mother's wishes, or what your mother's wishes could reasonably be expected to be at the time of her death if she had given it thought.
Are other family members questioning the beneficiary designation at this time?
However, when the parent is still alive ALL assets should be used for THEIR care. It is too premature and disrespectful to be thinking about inheritances while someone is still alive.
I have always helped my Mom with her finances. But never thought of any of her assets as beloning to me or my siblings.
W23456, enjoy your mother's last gift to you, without guilt, please.
My mother changed her will right before she died and left everything to my sister. I lived 8 mi from our mom, spent thousands of my own money when she ran short not to mention endless hours attending to her needs. We did not have a good relationship - ever - but I did it anyway because it was the right thing to do. My adult kids were right there with me. Mom died 11/30/10, my sister has yet to tell us. Sis' monetary contribution was small and very few hrs were ever spent helping our mother. She got everything. I guess she had no guilt whatsoever. I would've shared, had the tables been turned, but then we have a different outlook on things.
The insurance premiums on my moms policy and she made me beneficiary when she was well. As it is I've spent more on premiums then the death benefit. She had verbally left her house to me as I am disabled although I own my own but my siblings sold sold it to move her closer to me. Now I live with her as this closer thing doesn't work. Some of my siblings contribute for assistance for help. I've done all the improvements on the house yet they feel they will get there money back when mom becomes an angel. I think whatever we bought the house for is the monies that should be divided amgonsyvthem. Not the current market value. I can never get back my time What do people think Am I being greedy ? I feel no guilt at all. This is a 24/7!hour job. No life.
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