I have sole POA for my mid-range dementia father. My siblings are pressuring me to give them signing authority on his bank account, mostly to take care of our mother who has just had a stroke. I don't trust them as they have taken large amounts of his cash without permission from his account before when he still trusted them and had their names on for tax reasons. The money they took was given to my mother.They believe my mother is owed half of dad's money because although they have been separated for 30 years they never finalized a divorce.
They have alway thought his money was really theirs. Can I legally give them signing privileges on his account?

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If they never legally divorced, your mother is entitled. That's just the truth. My own parents were separated for over ten years when my father died. My mother and father had never divorced and she was legally his next of kin. She was entitled to half of his assets, period. She also was entitled to keep her benefits from my father's military career.

It's not what you think is right that counts in this instance. It's what the law provides. And if the money was used for her care, it's because she's still your father's wife and legally entitled to it.
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I'm the POA for my mother-in-law. At first it was just me because I don't work outside the home and my husband (her youngest son) and I live closest. I paid her bills and basically took care of her needs, even after she moved into asst living. About 2 years ago I had an incident with my health that was scary at the time but turned out to be okay. It made me think that maybe another son should be POA with me, and eventually all three of her sons are now on her bank accounts with she and I. When she dies my job will be over as POA and their job will begin taking care of whatever money she has. POA only works while the person is alive. Even though there were two of us as POA there for awhile, I was the only one with the checkbook. I did set up access to her accounts online and gave the other 2 sons the passwords, user ID's etc. just to keep everyone in the loop. But then again I'm not worried about them ripping off their mom. If anything should happen to you then what happens to the finances? That's what made me re-think being the only one as POA. If I were you I'd talk to the bank and ask these questions. Maybe there's a way to separate the money into a different account that the other family members can have access to. Then they wouldn't be able to drain the parents totally. I don't know. Like I said, that was never a worry for me. I hope you find your answer. Good luck.
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