I don't really know how long my brother has had POA, but do know that he has been a co-owner (signer) on Dad's bank account since April (when he was diagnosed with glioblastoma brain tumors). He is also Executor of my Dad's will.
Suspicions of how Dad's money has been getting spent aside (to say my Dad's resources were limited would be an understatement), I do think it would be fair to say that my philosophy on the priority for how the bills got paid is different from my brother's. My Dad owns his home, but it may be upside down since the recession. I don't have financial details because...well...I don't. If I ask about them my brother takes it personally and accuses me of "flipping him (insert word)" but never answers the questions other than to detail how much the medical bills are (usually before Medicare has paid them).
My Dad is about to pass. My brother is now asking me for money to be able to follow through with Dad's wishes for burial.
Can he make me contribute? If I say no, can he sue me later?
That's the crux of the issue, you only have to keep reading if you are curious:
I should say that I do really want my Dad to end up where he wishes to be. My suspicion does not stem from any actual caring of what my brother does with my Dad's money. My suspicion is based on the fact that my brother has spent years avoiding me and my family. The only times, before Dad got sick, that I heard from him were to try and pawn me something or ask for loans. THAT is the basis of my suspicion. Sometimes he needs money a must think, for some reason, I'm a bank account to be tapped. I think this falls into the same category. Again, I truly want my Dad (and mom, she was cremated and will go into the ground with him), go into their desired place. But the only money I have is in my kids' college fund. Replacing it would be a hardship to my family.
I am truly struggling with the 'rock and hard place' position of making a choice between the possibility of my parents not getting to be where they envisioned, or causing financial hardship to my family. Given my brother's financial history, I feel safe is saying I feel like I'm being taken advantage of....again.