Follow
Share

My siblings and I suspect our brother, who has lived with our mother who has dementia for more than 15 yrs since our father died, has been mentally/physically abusing her. We already know he has financially abuses her assets for his own greedy needs because she made him POA over everything. Before she got so bad with dementia, she had all our names put on her home when she died, but when she got really bad off and he started taking over her bills, etc., we found out that he got a quick claim deed to her home and sold to him for $1.00 even though he owns a nice home that stays empty since he moved in with her over 15 yrs ago. We have already turned him in for elder abuse, but they say since Mom is not complaining and they talked to her, she says everthing is fine with her and happy he is living there, but we have heard that he threatens her not to say anthing. We just need some solid proof to show he is abusing her inside her home. Is it legal to install a hidden camera?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Yes. People install cameras to safeguard their children against abusive babysitters and for security purposes. However, I don't think it's legal to put one in the bathroom but that just may be for public spaces like restaurants and stores.

There's a Hardcover Book Hidden Camera on Amazon. It looks just like a book but it's a camera. Less than $100.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

I think the laws are lax on videos unlike audio where you have to tell the person ur taping them. Call your local police dept.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Mom has Dementia, then how could those people take her word thst she was OK. Has your Mom been formally diagnoised? If so, how could she sign over her house?
Helpful Answer (11)
Report

You are a very vicious ugly person to even think of installing a hidden camera in a private home without your brother's permission on his property--and most likely violates wiretapping Federal laws. You seem to think care is free or cheap. Why don't you take care of her and see how it's like as it is a 24 hour a day, seven day a week job. In my opinion you sound like a very vicious abusive person. You should be thankful your mom is not in a horrible nursing home--they would have seized everything anyway.   A person's home is not a public place. http://injury.findlaw.com/torts-and-personal-injuries/what-is-the--reasonable-expectation-of-privacy--.html

All I can say is if I had a brother like you I would have sent her off to you and let you take care of her instead and wash my hands of it and live my own life.  Instantly. Because you obviously think you can do better. Then I say go for it. Yes I would have signed over everything to you.  Then go my merry way. 
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

*Sighs* Here we go again with "We've heard"...... from who? If I suspected Mom was being abused by one of my siblings, I would be inspecting her body, talking with her (in private) out on a lunch date and asking her, and being involved in her care. If you have PROOF that he has already mishandled her finances and such, call an attorney and have him investigated. If they find it to be true, he can lose his POA status and hopefully, justice will be done. But, I am sorry, when I hear "we've heard" and "we suspect" that tells me you are not sure and not there enough to see what is going on. If my brothers secretly installed a security camera to watch me and Mom without my knowledge, I would not think that is legal and I would be outraged! It is an invasion of privacy. If you "suspect" then go and see for yourself if you can find the signs. They will be there are the elderly bruise easy and if you KNOW about the abuse then have him investigated. Sorry to sound brash, I just see so many accusations on this site when they have zero proof. I am accused of all kinds of BS from my sibs because they are afraid the money they were hoping to get from her will not be what they anticipated but I have sacrificed and paid dearly for being her appointed DPOA and NONE of their accusations are true. I have saved every receipt and all paperwork just in case they decide to run an investigation on me. Again, sorry for being snippy but I live on the other side of this being the one accused.
Helpful Answer (15)
Report

I would check with the laws of the state ..and then call the elder protective services ...I personally have cameras inside and outside of my house my mom lives with me .,I think your mother's protection is priority..I'm a RN and I watch my mother's care very extremely carefully ...and I suspect anything going on yes I'll do what it takes to protect her ,.,I don't think your a bad person for worrying about your mom ,,if something is suspected it needs to be delt with , and if you need to prove abuse mentally or physically being done to the elderly helpless woman ,,then let it be so ...but check with the laws first and I would be doing all I can to protect her ..maybe she can come live with you ,,but her safety and well being is top priority because she cannot defend herself ,, yes I'd do it ,,you bet I would ...my mom lives with me and the caregivers know I've got them on camera and I'm watching , I caught a caregiver going through my personal belongings..I got a copy of the video and showed it to her company ,,I also caught a caregiver leaving early than what was signed on the paper ..so my mother's hours were not being used properly ...yes I'd do it ,.,just check with the laws...you have a human life a helpless person who cannot take care of themselve...you need to be a advocate and I'd do it ... always be a advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves ..and do what you have to do ..just make sure you can do it legally ..if you can then yes....I'm not sure if it would be considered voyerism ....if you cannot do it then call elder protective services again and make sure they do welfare checks on her ,, I'm a RN and I turn people in who I suspect is abusive ,..I support you in your mom's worry ..see if you can get her to live with you 
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

No your not a vile person ..you are a concerned person ..and that's good ...just keep caring and being a advocate
Helpful Answer (18)
Report

the question is installing cameras in another person's home without their permission. It's legal to install cameras in YOUR home since it is your house. Stores can have security cameras because it is a PUBLIC place.  I have cameras in most places in my OWN home including back and front yard. But I would never in a million years put a spy camera in another person's home without their expressed permission--they may be violating Federal laws such as wiretapping laws. The brother could turn around and prosecute the person who installed the spy camera in their house without their permission.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

I understand Rainy and it's unfair you were treated like pooh from family members who are clueless as to what we are going through ..I'm sorry you were put through heck for no reason .. but I read your post and saw it through your eyes ...but we must always stand on the side of caution and make sure all is ok..I think her finances should be reviewed by elder protective services and a investigation must be pursued ..I do think the camera may be voyerism and against the law ,,,but I think this matter must be followed up,on ,..I work in a hospital and see a lot of elderly being abused , neglected and no food and the family is useless ...it happens more than you could ever imagine...so I call elder protective services a lot ..we must always put safety first ,,.,
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

What a sad sad world we live in now.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I agree I think it might be voyerism..I think she should take a different route cetude....I think I'd call elder protective services again and keep voicing my opinion to them ..I call them just about daily ...I think the lady needs welfare checks surprise welfare checks and be assigned to a case worker ,,,i deal with protective services and see so much elder abuse ..it would break your heart ..,I think she needs to be sure all is well ..she may want the mom to live with her so she'd have peace of mind ,,,
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Yes Rainey I see it everyday it's sad and tragic , that's why my mom gets the best of everything..I love her and if I have to do without for her I will ...I see so many elderly and little kids starved and hit and left in wet , poopy sheets for days ,,one elderly lady had pooh stuck to her bum ..it's sad because the family just wanted her check ....so you see my point of view ..I call them all the time ..it's not my job to prove the abuse who stole what it's elder protective services ..I don't need to prove anything to call .i just need to suspect ,,,and if I do I turn it in ,,let the protective services figure it out
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am not positive if it is legal or not....Here is what I'd do: Install the hidden camera and if it turns out to be illegal it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Amen Rainey ..Amen ..truer words were never spoken ...and it's the elderly and the children that is the hardest for me ..many nights I get in my car and cry it breaks my heart ...
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Old bob I don't think your old at all ..your great lol 😂
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I have been advised by some to install a camera in moms home, but she lives alone and it is her home. I wouldn't do that to her though unless she agreed as much as I'd like to. I respect her too much. I would consider a camera at front and back door to prevent her from wandering out at night, but alarms work better anyhow. But this is what I am doing. I am applying to be her conservator and guardian. Can you do that? Or is your brother the guardian now? Can you get that reversed? Take pictures of any signs of abuse and keep a log of any problems with the date and any witnesses. Does she seem happy? Is she afraid? Take a step back and evaluate. Seek legal help.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Any answers you get here to your question will be based on laws that may vary from state to state. The answers may also be solely based on hearsay. Your best bet is to consult an elder law attorney in your mother's area. The attorney will know exactly what the law does or does not allow in cases of suspected abuse.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Any answers you get here may or may not apply in your mother's jurisdiction. Laws vary by state and often include specific requirements the general public doesn't know. Your best bet is to consult an elder law attorney. An elder law attorney will know precisely what is permitted by law. This is not something to precede with based on the experience of others whose situations may be quite different and who may have different laws than your mother's area has.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Not Illegal. Hope you nail him if he is an Elder abuser.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If he is an elder abuser...

I don't know, of course. But this man has been living with his demented mother and caring for her for fifteen years. The OP has discovered, who knows when, that s/he and other non-caregiving siblings are no longer in line to receive their share of the family home once their mother passes away.

So one is bound to wonder. What are they mainly concerned about? Their mother? And it's taken them fifteen years to get round to acting on their concerns?

One more thing. Since the OP seems to consider it feasible - whether or not legal/ethical - to place a hidden camera in the mother's home, then s/he and/or others must have reasonably free, unsupervised access to both the property and their mother. They have already called APS in, and APS were satisfied with the mother's living situation. So I wonder what they're trying to dig up, exactly. Footage of the poor bloke tearing his hair out at three in the morning? His reaction when mother throws her oatmeal at him? Mother in odd socks, or with tea spilt down her dress?

I will be happy to be corrected, but to me it sounds as though the issue is the siblings' suspicion that this caregiver is only in it for a quick buck (cue: hollow laughter) and is out to cheat them. Have you had any conversations with him about mother's assets and intentions?
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Although I will not call you names, I tend to agree with cetude because I am my husband's sole caregiver and unfortunately,I know exactly what a lousy job it is. There are times, becoming more frequent, that I just have to go sit outside with the dog and be quiet for a few minutes or I will wind up screaming insults at my husband. I would certainly highly resent anyone who judged me, especially if they had never walked in my shoes. If you have a good relationship with your mom, each of you take her for a few days a month to give your brother a break. Give him a chance to get back to his own home (and life) for a few days. This will also give you a chance to chat with and observe your mom when she is lucid...and when she is not. To paraphrase the old Native People's saying, "Don't judge me until you have walked a mile in my moccasins. "
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Yes! As a geriatric care manager I've installed video cameras in homes to both monitor caregivers and to watch for theft, many of my clients are very wealthy. I would encourage this.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

CareSupport, have you installed video cameras in your clients' homes without their or their representatives' knowledge or consent? Surely not.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

As a nurse who worked in the hospital, I saw many many patients who were being abused by their relative caregivers. Maybe it was just name calling, "you're stupid, etc." more frequently neglect, not keeping them clean, not feeding them enough, not taking care of wounds, etc. I would call the DHS over and over and over, along with the patient's doctor. The DHS workers are so busy, many in our area have over 1,000 cases they are supposed to be "following", they would go to the home, and the patient would state they were fine, they were happy, etc, and DHS would leave. There are many reasons people will not admit to being abused, they are afraid they will have to go to "the NURSING HOME", they are afraid that their caregiver, who has sponged off of them for years, will be left homeless, they are afraid of their caregiver and how they will react if they agree to go to the nursing home. They are old and afraid of change, period. My advice is the same I would give to any child of an elderly parent, if you are afraid something is wrong, investigate!! The government can't help you without proof, and your parent will most likely not help you either. If you have other siblings so you can band together as a group, then it is not one against one, and you will be better off. I would go ahead and put cameras in the home if you are worried, remember, verbal abuse is still abuse, and no one should have to put up with it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I don't know, but if she's being abused, I don't see why not if it means saving her life. I'd say go for it because you can't let this go on if she still in that situation. I would also say something to the hospital if Aps won't help, and even alert the police department but don't mention the camera unless you want to tip off the wrong person
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree wholeheartedly with Nursesforever. My adult brother has lived with my mom his entire life and it has been a family issue for the past twenty five years. Every attempt was made to help him get out on his own by my parents and siblings. When father passed twenty years ago, he was livid with my brother for not working. The ethos in my family was hard work. My parents had nothing and built a nice life by hard work. I am the oldest daughter and was always close to my mother. She would cry to me about "why won't he leave" but when she tried to address it with him he would get mad and walk away. Now that she has dementia, she cannot fight him anymore. She has been under threat by him, e.g., turning off the phones, changing locks, removing family photos of all the siblings, spouses and grandchildren. He has isolated her from all her children AND grandchildren. He has had her change her will to leave everything to him including a small family business that my good brothers run and have run for the past 30 years. APS and legal authorities were called in. APS sees that the house is clean and has food in the refrigerator and Mom does says everything is ok, all the while the brother is standing right next to her. So, APS says nothing is wrong. I won't begin to go into the litigation that has taken place. What I have seen is cruelty and my mother is trapped and has been exploited by the entire process. I was VERY close to my mother and now she is calling me "evil" (my brother's words of course). I was the one she came to for medical needs and respite from my brother. Poisoning the relationships to those closest to the vulnerable adult is a tactic elder abusers use to attain their goals of taking over the estate. You may not see a bruise but the abuse is there and damaging. We have tired to remedy the situation but if the vulnerable adult is saying that all is fine, the authorities don't look further. I think every adult should have a beautiful and content last sigh when he/she takes her last breath, knowing all is well with her loved ones. My mother, a kind and loving person, will now take her last breath full of angst and hatred towards all of her children (except the one "taking care of her"). Heartbreaking.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

There are two things I would do. First, I would talk to an elder law attorney, just as TheDementiaRN suggested above. Laws and practices vary greatly from state to state--and there can be *very* serious consequences should you get caught violating them. You need very specific instructions about how to proceed, and this is beyond what an advise forum such as this can provide.

Another professional I would consider turning to is an elder care coordinator. I would select either an advanced practice nurse / nurse practitioner or a very experienced social worker. The elder care coordinator has to be someone with extensive experience working with dysfunctional families as well as working with mentally ill people. An elder care coordinator with the sort of expertise you need is definitely not cheap. This person (usually, but not always a woman) will really know the lay of the land, She's probably worked with families in turmoil, where one member is being accused of taking advantage of the frail parent. She will know the local elder law attorneys and probably has testified in court more than once. She's worked with many attorneys and can give you an insider's view about them. She's familiar with Adult Protective Services and knows who to call. She knows how to document a case. She's a really good educator. In your situation, a 90 minute to 2 hour consultation with one is definitely in order. How do I know? Personal experience. The elder care coordinator I consulted was an advanced practitioner nurse with expertise in geriatric medicine and who was the unit manager of a geriatric psychiatric unit at a

DementiaRN--IMHO, a really good and smart nurse is worth his or her weight in gold--both to the patient and to his or her family.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

No, it is not legal to install a spy camera on or in someone else's property.
But depending on your state, it would likely be legal to install such a camera (with a telephoto lens) on a neighbor's property, with their permission.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

So sad for your mom. Since he owns the home now it's not easy for you to just drop by daily to visit or spend the night. Just talk to him it will be uncomfortable but do it for your mom's sake. He probably has POD on any accounts she may have too. If she wasn't competent at the time of the sale you probably could get the house back in all names.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Cetude, that was uncalled for and inappropriate for this venue. A person comes here asking a valid question and you slam them with insults and don't even bother to actually answer the question. With answers like that no one is going to feel comfortable asking their questions.

In answer to the original post, I would suggest you ask your local law enforcement about it. No elderly person deserves to be taken advantage of and they certainly don't deserve to be mistreated or abused. Maybe you and the rest of the family can try and visit more often and see what you can find out.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter