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I live 800 miles away. I am an only child and My mother has vascular dementia and I am her POA. She was transferred from the hospital after she had become emaciated and fallen to a memory care facility. Then she had a heart attack and was transferred again from the hospital to a Skilled Nursing Facility. She is rehabed from the heart attack and can go back into a Nursing Home facilty and I hired a non emergency transfer service(cost a fortune) to transfer her from the SNF to a really nice Personal Care facility about 7 miles from my house, as my family is exhausted and financially strapped driving over 800 miles to where she is every other week, which is the most often I can humanly go to oversee her care and her home etc. It took over a month to set this up with each facility (departing and entering facility) and all was supposed to take place this AM. Well the Director of the facility met the transport people at the door and would not even let them in, and my mother came up and was agitated and refused to get on the bus. The Director said the ambulance people would be kidnapping her if they took her. He said this in front of my mother. She became extremely angry and is screaming she is getting a lawyer, that we can not do this to her. We are trying to do what is best for her. We simply can not move to NM. My husband has a good job he has been with for 23 years in South east Tx. and we can not be there in NM to watch over her care. The psychiatrist diagnosed her with vascular dementia.Her cardiologist knows she has dementia, anyone who talks to her for more than five minutes should have no doubt. Her short term memory is basically gone. She is incontinent and will not eat without being in a care facilty. This facility is making a good bunch of money from medicare right now and eventually from her assets which are numerous.We have been looking for an elder attorney in her area and there is not one. How do I find out what the laws are. We do not want to be charged with kidnapping, but we NEED her here for her own safety and care. Going to Court to get guardianship is an option, but it is not guarateed it would be us that would be the guardian and it takes forever and in NM elder laws are on the elders side, which is good but she doesnt want to come here.

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The law says you cannot move her if she does not want to go. A POA can only carry out the wishes of the patient and execute documents on their behalf. Only a Guardian appointed by a JUDGE can relocate her against her will. Only the COURT appointed psychiatrist can legally make a determination of competency. And NO the Judge in NM will not appoint you, because you live out-of-state. You just cut back your visits and let her stay where she is, as hard as that will be. So sorry.
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Maybe if you had met her at the facility and gone with her it would have went better, but maybe not. I am lucky my mom was willing to go from the hospital to a rehab 5 miles from me, 100 miles from her hospital and home.And dad was easy to get packed up and into my truck. My thoughts are with you all. This is a hot mess
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Vicki if I were you, I'd contact a local elder care attorney to find out what your rights/responsibilities are regarding your mom's care. I think your question is a complicated one and you need to get good legal advice. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
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I guess the POA is worth nothing then. Was supposed to be so we could make medical decisions and financial decisions for her because she doesn't have the capability to do it. She wants to poop all over the floor, and not wear depends. She wants to go home to a house that has poop on all the carpets and has trash stacked everwhere which renders one unable to walk without falling, at least it was. We have spent hours making trails through the stuff. She does not need to be in a Skilled Nursing Facilty any longer. Her heart doctor released her to be transferred, but you are telling me we can't even make her leave to be transfered to a more appropriate facilty there? Medicare will stop paying for it when they find out she doesn't require it. This is insane.. We now just want her out of this faciltity since they are the crooks that sabatoged this whole transfer, and like I said she was there for heart rehab not dementia, so she needs to go back to a memory care.
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Vickie, Medicare does not pay for long-term care. Nor do they pay for Memory Care. I'm not sure how she was covered in the memory care facility, but if she was on NM Medicaid and you were taking her to TX, You would have lost NM Medicaid as soon as you left the state. That presents a whole separate set of red tape to deal with in TX. TX Medicaid has a whole separate application process.
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I know medicare doesn't cover memory care. Medicare is covering her stay at the Skilled Nursing facility for rehab for her heart attack.She no longer requires Skilled Nursing. She needs to go back to memory care. SHe has funds. But the SNF does not want her to leave because Medicare is paying them for rehab and they haven't notified medicare that her heart Dr. has released her.
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She doesn't qualify for medicaid. She has an abundance of assets.
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Does she want to stay at the NH or does she want to go home? What is her doctor's recommendation?
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Her cardiologist's recomendation Linda, was for her to be transferred to Nursing home from the SNF she is at because she has been rehabbed from her heart attack and no longer requires that care. She wants to stay in the town she is she says, however over half the time she can not remember what town she is in. We were just trying to do what we and her dr. thought was best. However the SNF does not want her to leave because they know medicare is paying and when it stops she can pay. This SNF is run down and not giving her the care she deserves, but they are getting paid. We would just like to move her there in town now to another nicer facillity, but this Skilled Nursing place is blocking her going anywhere, now. We wanted her here with us but if she will not comply then we will just have to do the best we can and go visit every few months.
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shakin she did want me to have say on her medical and financial issues when she was in her right mind. She gave me both medical and financial Power of Attorney. However apparently that is not worth much if she now says she doesn't want to do what I decide about her care......
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And the Power of Attorney is on file with the state agency Adult Protective Services.
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Vickie, sounds like you need to go for guardianship. I believe it is much more powerful than POA, even durable POA. But shakin is right - at some point negligent parents must take the consequences if they don't plan ahead or refuse to cooperate. This is tough love and not nice, but that's how it goes sometimes.
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