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My mother is 85 and my father is 91 with dementia, they both still live in their home. My mother has a caregiver that comes in M-F for 4 hrs a day to help with my father. Since my older brother passed away in December my father has been falling more and having incontinence issues day and night. My mother is physically and mentally declining and is suffering from major depression, this is the 2nd son they have lost. My sister and I are the only children left, we make sure they have plenty of prepared food but my mother may or may not fix it.
My mom does not want to go to assisted living (it is fine for all her friends but not her), she does not want to put our father in a memory care facility and she cannot afford the $16,000/month for 24 hr care in the home.
My sister and I completely understand what she desires but we are also very worried that she is not capable of taking care of our father and keeping him safe. We do not want to get into a legal battle with her but we also don't want to be blamed for not stepping in and "doing something" about their situation when something bad happens. We want to keep both of them safe and give her some relief of taking care of my dad.

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It sounds like they need to be in a care facility. You're going to need POA and/or legal guardianship to make it happen. It's expensive but no as much as constant in home care.
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Does either of you have poa for either parent?
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