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My mother's expensive, uninsured ring disappeared from her hand while she was recovering in her assisted living apt. from pneumonia. She was sleeping deeply and wouldn't wake up if someone twisted it off of her finger. Any suggestions how we can get remuneration from her facility? I already filed a police report and it didn't go anywhere. She had mild/med dementia but never, ever took that ring off.

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WOW So many reports. Ever thought of a class action lawsuit or filling up regulators and legislators voice mails, sending letters of complaints to every state attorney office?
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Rovana, you are correct, all valuables should be left at home. My parents were in two different facilities, nothing was ever stolen. Misplaced yes. I couldn't find my Mom's eyeglasses for a few days. Eventually I took a flashlight and looked under the mechanics of her hospital bed, and laying on their side on the floor between the bed's footings was Mom's eyeglasses. Without the flashlight I wouldn't been able to see the glasses.

By the way, even people with high incomes are not without temptation to steal.
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MomofTimmy - what I'm going to say you will not like but I worked in Health facility security - Please everyone, don't make us responsible for valuables - we need to spend out time and energy on the kind of security issues that involve patient safety. All valuables should be left at home -don't place temptation in staff's way - for heaven's sake, they are mostly minimum wage workers. We simply cannot be a property guard service.
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MY wife was sent to HORIZAN HEALTH AND REHAB in Manchester TN will I took a break from 24/7 care giving .Admitted 12/11/17 - 12/15/17. While there someone stole her diamond ring. Her left arm was bruised from the armpit to elbow. The ring was listed on inventory sheet when admitted. Listed as missing on outgoing inventory sheet. Police report was made. Executive director will not return calls and has not responded to my last letter 2/5/18. If a person has nothing to hide would you not think they would talk to you ? It is a shame to take advantage of dementia patients. LAWS AND REGS NEED TO BE CHANGED ASAP and / or licensees pulled for this. I think it is a violation of a persons rights. WE ALL NEED TO GO TO THE WEBSITES OF THESE FACILITIES AND FILL THEIR REVIEWS WITH OUR COMPLAINTS. Contact ALL GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENTS (FEDERAL STATE AND LOCAL) that deal with these homes and get the laws and regulations changed ASAP.
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The same thing happened to my wife. Due to her dementia she was placed in HORIZON HEALTH AND REHAB in Manchester TN. She was in under respite care while I took a break. Admitted 12/11/17 till 12/15/17.While gone someone stole her Diamond ring. Noted on inventory when admitted and acknowledge it's lost on discharge paper that it was missing. Her left arm was bruised from armpit to elbow. Police report was filed. Have tried to work with Exceyutive Director to no avail. Last letter 1/5/18. No call or correspondence of any kind. DO NOT TAKE ANYONE YOU KNOW THERE. The nurses were all very nice. LAWS NEED TO BE CHANGED ASAP . This treatment of vulnerable people should not be allowed.TIME TO PRESSURE YOUR GOVERNMENT (STATE LOCAL AND FEDERAL ) regulators to change this. If you are not reimbursed for loss than keep posting your complaints And go to ther website and give them the bad reviews. Funny how some sites have ONLY GOOD reviews posted.Wonder why ?
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When my f-i-l got ill and passed away last year we searched high and low for his wedding band and never found it - we don't know if it disappeared at the hospital or at the ALF and then about 2 months ago while visiting m-i-l, I noticed her diamond necklace (her engagement diamond on a gold chain) was missing. I asked the head nurse and she didn't remember ever seeing it and checked in the office -- it wasn't on the official check-in inventory so we basically had no recourse. It wasn't worth a lot, but the thought of it disappearing is unnerving. We don't want to accuse anyone, but it makes you very skeptical about the staff.
Frustrating to say the least.
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When my f-i-l got ill and passed away last year we searched high and low for his wedding band and never found it - we don't know if it disappeared at the hospital or at the ALF and then about 2 months ago while visiting m-i-l, I noticed her diamond necklace (her engagement diamond on a gold chain) was missing. I asked the head nurse and she didn't remember ever seeing it and checked in the office -- it wasn't on the official check-in inventory so we basically had no recourse. It wasn't worth a lot, but the thought of it disappearing is unnerving. We don't want to accuse anyone, but it makes you very skeptical about the staff.
Frustrating to say the least.
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I hate to say this, but there is a good possibility a relative took it from her "for safe keeping". At least that is the excuse they will give you for taking it. Beware the vultures within your own family.
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I am having a horrible time with the nursing home my Dad is in........but Mom is not helping ....she had a fight with my husband over 3 yrs ago and to get back at him accused me with id theft, etc, which i had to take a plea to although i did nothng but did not have 9000 for a one day trial......so she has told all this to the nursing home administrator and even though i was not convicted but adj withheld, she keeps telling everyone i am a convicted felon - myself and my husband are dads only constant visitors and have now purchased him a total of 8 blankets just in this last year .....he also is a stroke victime so he can't move either..........within the last 3 wks, 3 blankets went "missing" , then his distance eyeglasses went "missing" - these were prescription glasses and it is not like he can go have an eye exam.....Mom has also taken away two pairs of his VA issued hearing aids and the ombudsman of Florida is a joke.........i guess if you can smile and say you want to help, your six yr old could be one........my mother, ombudsman and administrator decided Dad did not need his hearing aides because they caused wax and also because he kept throwing them around the room (a physical impossiblilty) - we had to get permission for a 39 inch tv and he needed his distance glasses (that he used to drive with ) just to see that.........so I bought him another blanket on Sunday.......we went to see him today Thanksgiving and I could not believe it was gone..............that is now over 120.00 worth of blankets..........i just bought him another today for 20.00 - we have everything labeled..........in fact, i was peeved on Sunday I wrote his name all across the blanket........and they are not going to tell me a navy blue blanket got dirty between Sunday and Thursday - the dirty light green one they left on him.............are you all telling me that they are not liable for this........I too was going to report it to police as theft as I know someone who used to work in the laundry room of a nursing home and she said the aides took a lot of the stuff............but perscriptin glasses........?? I am leaving a note for the administrator that i will be keeping all recpts and want reimbursement.........i also purchased Dad for Vet Day an embroidered Navy blanket which also has his full long Polish name on it and says WWII Veteran.......i just one wk ago took that home to be dry cleaned and am afraid to bring it back.............if that goes missing that cost was about 150.00 due to all the embroidery but it just made him beam eye to eye.........he has unspecified dementia and between the family dysfunction and the nursing home neglect, it is quite discouraging..............i flipped when i did a a mini poll of the nurses and the aides and only 1 out of about 20 had ever even heard of the supposed ground breaking Obra legislation during Ronald Reagans presidency..........i believe we have to push to have it brought back in the lime light.............when i visit my Dad, we drive close to two hours.........he has a room mate that yells at the top of his lungs help, help and then curses...........if i did not have dementia, i surely would after a couple of days with him................should not this man be removed or sedated so that we can visit...........i cannot imagine what it must be like confined to a bed with someone next to you screaming at the top of his lungs...........when i left today i put a note in the comment book and highlighted it saying "are you kidding me" ?? 2 blankets missing and glasses and i bring a new one on Sunday and it is gne by Thursday.........................there has to be something that can be done..............what the heck is the inventory sheet for ?
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My mother broke her hip went into rehab, when she returned to ALF all her things were gone I mean everything, even the photo of my mother & dad when they were 20years old. I asked the owner they said they would check it out. They also told me the person that put them away was out of the country.She returned 2 weeks ago I asked her myself she didn't seem to know. Everything has been missing for 10 weeks. The owner acts like no big deal. If I were the guardian of my mother she would be out of that place.
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I have a suggestion to add to my previous post. Being the daughter of STICKY fingered Mom, I'm embarrassed but I know it's really not her fault, sorry to say. The NH moved her into a different room and wondered why she was sleeping in the old room and called me to tell me. When I got there I saw her name on the old room My Mom knows where her room is, because, her name is on the doorway, she knows the bathroom because it has a sign. "She's got DEMENTIA" she can't remember where her room is!!! BUT SHE CAN READ!!!! So to minimize Moms Sticky fingers I suggested to the social worker, if all the residents closets, drawers, shelves, etc., were all name tagged boldly, she would be less likely to go into another persons private areas and personal things. .She now see's the sign and say's oh that's not my closet it's JANE'S cause it say's Jane's closet, see and looks for her name on her closet instead!!! When you are lost on the road without a GPS or a map what do you do? Read signs right. Most of us forget the basics. You may not be able to watch everything all the time but remember what is really important.... material belongings or your stress level. I learned the hard way after missing items of Mom's too, and only GOD knows where the stuff went. I learned from that and don't give her anything of importance that is not replaceable. LisaSmith I hope you recovered the ring, or had resolved this somehow but if nothing else you may have saved a lot of other people from a loss like this by posting this question.
We should all spread the word to other residence families and NH or Assisted living staff to warn them about this problem upon admittance!!!!
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I am sorry for this upsetting loss, I haven't read all the post just yet because I lose my focus on the original question. I would look at the admittance papers to see who is responsible for missing items. I learned not to let my Mom have anything worth any amount of $$$. It may be a coincidence but all her things worth anything poof away never to be found... anything I give her, not worth a nickle miraculously are still there in NH. On the other hand her dentures went missing and knowing what NancyH posted "almost same scenario" the first time I found them 2nd time Mom told me "the kids took them" then 2 weeks went by and she had them again and told me her Father (he passed over 25 years now) found them and gave them back to her. Then a few months later gone again.. frustrating!!! I know someone in a NH and hearing aids were lost and they threatened to sue... boy they turned up fast. Unfortunately I learned the hard way anything you can't tie down you remove!!!! My Mother is also like a 2 year old she thinks if it is in my reach it's mine, I hate that she does that but If I see anything in her room or on her person that's not hers i try to find who it belongs to, so you may want to post a flyer in view for visitors and staff to see, but make sure you explain you will take action if it doesn't turn up because awareness of it missing, someone not so honest might look for the ring to steal it. I got another idea, My mom has hiding spots so if you maybe give her another fake ring and watch what she does with it " she might automatically lead you to the other one, but don't let her see that you are watching, you may be the one she's hiding it from... no offence, but as my Mom see's it I am the thief, LOL or the children "delusional children" or just ask her,, one day might be a clear one and you may get the answer. Sometimes my Mom is on target one day clueless the next. Or act like it is not missing, you don't want to find it, you just want to clean it for her she may without thinking about it pull it out of hiding spot.
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well on feb 11,2012 i put my mom in respete care and i called everyday to see how she was doing as i didn't want her to be mad for me putting her in their for 5 days so i could rest. any way on feb 11,2012 she left with her rings and when i called on wed they told me she was breathing not good so i rush over to see my mom and she is really out of it a sleeping i picked up her hand and her wedding rings were gone, i paniced and told the rn's on duty they said they didn't know any thing about them missing, the strange part as the day i took her in i told the rn' about the rings she had on and she wrote them down. now how on earth can someone take rings from a dying person. very hurt aqnd i will not even put myself in hospice as they are not compasionate and fake,so what should i do?
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First thing you do is call the police to create a record.....doesn't matter if you are inside the N.H. or not. Call the police. sign the report and then contact your own insurance company. They will investigate..
If the ring is not returned, you must file a claim with your insurance co. and the N.H. (both).
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My mother lives in a memory care facility for people with Alzheimers/ dementia. There is a resident there who goes from room to room taking residents personal belongings and then hides those items in various places around the building. Some items get recovered, but other are NEVER to be found again. At first the items being taken were small things such as toothbrush, toothpaste, soap and chopsticks. This was annoying but now items such as her jewelry ( although costume jewelry ) and perfume, and now a photo album is missing too. We have spoken to the facility and they are more than aware of the problem since I am in there complaining every day. They say that they are having all of the staff keep a more watchful eye on him......but he still is continuing with his clepto ways. I am BEYOND aggravated, annoyed and upset to go and seamy Mom and EVERY day find more and more items missing. The facility has suggested putting a lock on her door as a solution, but I'm not thinking this will be an appropriate solution since it will probably cause more of a problem for my Mom since she won't be able to maneuver this task and probably be upset when she cannot gain entrance to her own room without assistance from a staff member. Don't get me wrong.....I think this is a wonderful facility with great employees who truley do care. I actually moved my mother from Massachusetts to Illinois to be at this facility I was so impressed with. I guess some people might say the obvious choice would be to move her to another facility, but it would be unfair to my Mom after the transition she has had to make and now that she is ar ease and adjusted to her residece. My question is........what are my legal rights and what should I do next ??
REALLY, REALLY FED UP
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We did call the police when some very expensive items were missing from my mother's assistant living apartment. One item was found in another resident's apartment. This put the administration on alert that we were not going to stand by and just let this type of thing happen. Unfortunately the other items were never found but the stealing did stop. I have felt the staff was involved in taking some things including new clothing...so with the tags still attached.
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For 2 weeks when my mother first went into the nursing home, her clothes kept disappearing. One culprit was her roomate who has Alzheimer's. The lady was taking my mother's clothing and layering 4 and 5 items of clothing every day. The nursing assistants would just tell her she couldn't do that, but it never stopped happening. I bought my mother new clothes daily for that 2 week period. It only stopped when she was reassigned to another room. I agree that labeling clothes is a must. I don't put anything expensive or even anything at all in my mother's room other than photos. Even a framed photo was taken and the frame left behind. It's very annoying. My mother's room is not decorated because everything I took for her was taken, including a teddy bear, a little heart accessory and flowers.
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I think what hurts so much when these things happen is the emotions of knowing your loved one can't defend themselves and then worrying about someone who cares so little or sees them as not even there maybe feeling free to hurt them in other ways too. NH story of "some outside person" is actually a really lame one - no one should be allowed to just brarge in and do things to patients! Make a police report and don't let them brush it off like it does not matter; granted they probalby have a policy that says they are not responsible for valuables, but they can at least cooperate and see if there is anything else they can do.
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Some one cut the stone off my grandmother ring. No question it wasn't an accident but the nursing home management blamed it on an outsider. It couldn't really be proved otherwise.

Some people are just horrible people who will victimize those less fortunate. I would like to think they get it back some day.
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Very good idea. My mother was missing some things which were found in another resident's closet. The staff was aware that this woman "borrowed" things and forgot to return them. They searched her apartment.
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OK , Mia.
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LEE:

If she's still at that facility, take longs walk around every time you visit to see if someone's wearing it (staff included). The thief might be stupid enough to flaunt it. Don't make a scene and confront the individual, as s/he might give it to someone else to hide it; and then it'll disappear altogether. Just bring a staff member to the individual and ask if the ring is part of that person's inventory. If it isn't, you're in luck.
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NIK2R3: seems like Igloo was just relaying HER experience. In my humble opinion.
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IGLOO: I woud not deny the veracity of Jackalee's letter. Either the ring is missing or it's not. Just because your experience with your 90++ year old mother led to numerous false calls, doesn't mean that the matter is similar to hers..
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Well a lesson learned by all.

My mom (90++ Lewy Body dementia) was forever being "robbed" while in IL.
Was it actually true???? Not likely.

Although we all know that staff will take stuff, the vast majority of the time the resident hides things, takes items from others or just flat looses it. My mom went into panic that a resident had stolen her wedding rings.....well they were in the carpet by her reading chair - they had just fallen off. She was unaware. My mom also took all the flashlights and removed the batteries and hid her "valuables" in them. Then she would go into a total panic that she was robbed. She gave stuff away and then would accuse the person of stealing from her. She had no idea what was "real" and what was "costume". One year we brought her Mardi Gras beads and throws and then weeks later she went on & on about someone stealing her new pearls that were worth hundreds of dollars. When I moved her from IL to LTC and cleared out her apt, I found a stash of jeweled hair accessories that obviously belonged to another resident and another stash of rosaries - none of these were hers. Luckily the weekly maid was there and we figured out probalby who was the owner. This is just a constant problem with the elderly.

Dementia patients are not grounded in reality, so we need to do whatever to make things easier for them. Don't wait for stuff to be MIA, have mom give heirlooms away before going to IL, AL or LTC. Make a list so she can "remember" who got what. If they are the kind that just need to put jewelry on every morning, go buy them inexpensive stuff so there are no worries.

Also label everything - I use nail polish in a bright color to mark anything of hers with a hard surface.

I can tell from the responses that alot of you are upset that the police don't do more. You have to look at it from their viewpoint....ELDERLY = DEMENTIA =
UNRELIABLE = QUESTIONABLE VALUE.

My mom was big on calling the police when she was in IL both 911 and 211 calls. After she called the police for the 3rd time to file a report and told them they needed to arrest a specific resident, I got a call from police community relations on how they would handle her calls from that point on. If they responded then we would be charged for a false call - much like the fire department does for bad fire alarm systems OR we as DPOA could sign off for a non-response. We did the latter. When she moved to LTC she did NOT get a phone either. So no more problems on this front, thank goodness.
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You say that you filed a report with the local police? I assume that you filed a report/complaint with the facility also. Next step: Demand a video surveillance tape of the time frame in which the item went missing. Keep in mind that they'll deny everything, as always. Look again at your contract. If it says that they do not take resposibility for personal items, lost or stolen, then you have very little recourse.. last but not least, since you are claiming her as a dependent on your tax return, you can claim theft under the Casualty line on Schedule A. Good Luck.
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Be sure to report the missing ring immediately so the time frame can be narrowed down....if the ring was taken by a staff member the management can then narrow down the list of names of the staff working. Reporting it may not get justice for the replacement of the ring, however if this situation occurs (if it is theft it will) again the employee will eventuallly get caught and will be harshly dealt with...most importantly the employee will never be allowed to work with vulnerable or elderly people again. Theft at this level is uncomprehesible...however the suggestions above are great advice and come with a hard lesson learned...never leave your loved ones with unreplaceable items their are too many variables that can play a role in its disappearance. REMEMBER TO REPORT and I will pray that God will bring justice in this situation...if theft occured to expose and remove the individual involved.
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I am hopeful that each person that reads the (unfortunate) occurrences that happen in ALF's, rehab and nursing homes learns from others experiences and does differently with their loved ones.

I don't believe it is wrong to think that we can leave valuables with our loved ones and expect them to be there when we return to visit, but I don't believe it will always happen. Be careful what you leave with your loved ones and DOCUMENT any personal effects for your piece of mind, and have someone at the 'facility' aware of these items too. If they cannot assume liability (this will most like be the case) then DO NOT leave the items at the facility! This is a sad fact, but a true one.

If ONE person learns from our mistakes, then all is not in vain.
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my mother had her wedding ring on when she went into the first home, she was admitted to hospital with a fracture of the lower leg within 17 days, I noticed her ring was missing. When I questioned the home about it, they said she didn't have one on when she went into the home. I said yes she did because I did her nails on the morning of the day she went in, I thought at the time should I remove it but thought it wasn't mine to take... of course she couldn't tell me because of her dementia. The solicitor queried it but to no avail.
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Probably theft but are you sure she didn't give it to someone? My mom is always giving things to my greedy sister, then claiming she has "no idea" what happened to them. When I've followed up with her assisted living, she's then admitted giving the items to sis.
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