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My dad is in assisted living. I’m his POA and manage all his bills etc. he cannot manage his affairs and is too disabled to get to his mailbox to get his mail. I have everything sent to me since I go see him maybe once a week.


Do I need to change his address with Medicaid and Medicare to reflect the address of the assisted living? All his documents have my address. It’s more convenient but I don’t want trouble. Could this be an issue and must I change the address? Thank you!

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When I spoke with Medicare and Social Security to have the address changed I explained the situation to them. They deal with this all of the time. I explained that I was the POA and that mail should be sent to my address, and I think they also have her address at the memory care facility. In my mother's case, important mail would get buried in her piles of papers because she could not recognize what was important and what was not. She didn't let me know about important letters.
Nancy
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I would guess you at least have to provide your father's physical address where he is living BUT you should make sure all his mail comes to you so you can take care of it. He should not get it but they should have his proper address to prevent problems. I know that many people in the assisted living facility where I live now because I can't walk live here but their families get their mail. Check with the County Office on Aging and Medicare and Medicaid as to their rules. Be safe rather than sorry.
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Thank you all for taking the time to answer. You have given me a lot to think about. I was hoping the answer would be it did not matter but now I see there are things to think about, Much appreciated- you guys are the best!!
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Joint bank account is easiest. Dad’s SS and pension are direct deposit and brother is on all accounts. Dad moved 3 states away so I could take care of him. Never changed a thing. His bills get paid, Mail gets forwarded to brother. House sold.
We both have POA but never needed it -the safe deposit box is a totally different story. My dad can’t get into it without a court order because mom passed away and it was joint. He will never get into it. Paperwork is impossible to complete for the bank to inventory the contents prior to the court ordering it emptied. It has taken months thus far. (New York) do yourself a favor and empty it if both names are on it. Once one person passes, it’s VERY hard for the remaining person to open it.
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dkentz72 Dec 2018
WT.....?
NY like CA should be cut out of the country...OHIO should have been given to the bad guy in the Patriot too.
I know that States have their government rules/laws, BUT just because the safety deposit box has more than 1 signer does not make it joint; it just means anyone who has signed on the record can get to the box at anytime the bank is open. NOW, 99.9% of "owners" as customers are referred, are allowed to get certain items out of the box when another dies. These items would be birth certificate and burial real estate papers. The BANK IS REQUIRED TO INVENTORY AS SOON AS THEY ARE NOTIFIED AN OWNER HAS DIED. It takes 2 bank officers and 1 of the signers to "list" all items in the box. These items will stay inside the box, bank turns the inventory to the State. Tax records are reviewed so if there are back taxes owed and there is anything of value to recover, then the State "claims" those items and everything else is released to the other signers. It should only take 2-6 weeks from start to finish. Yes, the box will be coded as a signer is deceased (black insert in the signer lock) so no one can get to the box until the State releases. Your Dad should be able to get to that box unless the State is holding for monies owed. The bank will redo the box contract and it's like nothing happened.
FYI PEOPLE.....IF you have a safety deposit box, DO NOT LET THE BANK KNOW THAT ONE OF THE SIGNERS HAS DIED. GET TO THE BOX. REMOVE "EVERYTHING". CLOSE THE BOX. COME BACK A DAY OR 2 LATER AND OPEN A NEW CONTRACT FOR A SAFETY DEPOSIT BOX.

***this is the way to beat the system***
I had to deal with this when I was in retail banking. GET THERE BEFORE THE BANK/STATE KNOWS.

IF the owner(s) are deceased, all you should need is a copy of the death certificate for the bank to verify with the State. I only had to deal with this twice.
1. Husband committed suicide in front of wife by drinking pool acid. We inventoried the box....OMG, this guy had 1 of the largest boxes we had....FULL OF GOLD INGOTS, GEMS, COINS

2. A brother came in to clear his brother's box and accounts. His brother was murdered at a restaurant he worked. After hours a fired employee came back to get his last pay check, killed this guy's brother and night manager.

Those contents belong to your Dad. Something doesn't smell right. Go to Cuomo for an answer and get Dad's stuff back.

REMEMBER....GET STUFF OUT, THEN LET BANK KNOW A SIGNER DIED. IT'S A SAD THING TO DO, BUT THINK ABOUT HOW YOU'RE SCREWING THE STATE OUT OF INHERITANCE LAWS, POSSIBLY BACK TAXES.
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Medicare and/or Medicaid should be advised of the change of residence for the elder, but mail should come to you, else the elder would get confused.
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Where do you live? - I as I was joint on mom's account I just left everything going into that - I changed everything to my address because I didn't want to lose anything important - all I had to do is bring in my POA papers -

However when I did so another bank officer was someone I had gone to high school with so she vouched for me - but even then I had to show my driver's license for official ID

When we cleaned out the house we found bank statements under the shelf lining in the linen closet & money inside a decorative towel - we sold a bureau & the auctioneer found 6 $50 bills in an envelope even though we thought we had searched it - check everywhere!
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In Ohio:
For 14 years I was the principal caregiver, DPOA, and advocate for my father in his home. He has been in a memory care unit (Lewy body dementia) for a year now.
I changed his address to mine, sometimes creating more work for me. No mail goes to his facility, except greeting cards for his birthday and holidays. He takes no interest in them; I’m the one that opens and displays them.
Since I am the trustee of his irrevocable trust, I had to establish a separate trustee checking account for items in the trust that I sold for funding his care.
Since the federal government does not recognize POA, I had to establish a representative payee checking account for his SS direct deposit; they would not continue to deposit his check into his checking account. (They said they did not want him to have access to those funds - like he is physically/mentally capable, much less be able to write a check!) I spent about an hour at the SSA office answering questions - swearing everything I told was the truth under penalty of perjury from the law, and signing paperwork for them to do a background check on me. Plus, I get to fill out paperwork at the end of each year to prove accountability- that this money went for his care. 🤪
He was just recently approved by the VA for pension, aid and attendance. The elder care attorney helped with the paperwork, and I did not need to have a fiduciary account-the VA agreed to deposit it into his established checking account. So, at this time, I am only writing checks from two different accounts to pay for his monthly rent at the facility.
Next comes the preplanned funeral.

WHEW! What a mountain of paperwork and red tape a person must go through to do right by the elderly parent (my mother died unexpectedly 15 yrs ago). Until his money starts to get low, I will not file for Medicaid. I don’t care if I get anything as an inheritance - my parents worked hard all their work life, while raising three kids, to save for their ‘golden years’. I love the place where he is - they take such great care of him! Unfortunately, at this time, they do not accept Medicaid at his MC facility - I would have to relocate him. 😢
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Invisible Dec 2018
I, too, have found it an excruciating process to change things on my father's behalf when we moved him into memory care. Even though I have DPOA, all the administrators insist on talking to him and asking him impossible questions to validate who he is. Social Security required me to bring him to their facility to process a change in his address and they required it to be his residing address. So I intercept his mail there. Everything else comes to me at my address. Where I could, I put a resident address and a mailing address.
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I've been reading answers regarding these issues.
I'm not an expert, just someone who has gone thru the painstaking system.

GOOGLE Estate laws for your STATE!
GOOGLE NOTARY LAWS. These are revised by the Secretary of State, so you may need extra paperwork and the Notary may not know what is needed. I was lucky that the Notary who wrote up a document did not do the entire job per the Law change.

I googled, talked with family attorney friends and researched and researched for 5 yrs to be prepared to contest, family issues.

Those issues so far are gone because those involved decided they did not want to deal with Mom now. I was ready to do what was needed to protect Mom.

ANY investment accounts, get flagged just in case Mom or Dad has checks to withdraw money. NO ONE CAN BE TRUSTED....BELIEVE ME ON THIS.

NOTHING IS SIMPLE HERE, NOTHING, NO MATTER WHAT STATE IS INVOLVED.

IS YOUR STATE COMMUNITY OR COMMON LAW? There are ONLY 9 States that are Community Property, but operate in different ways.
ALASKA is Community property BUT couples can OPT OUT which then makes their marriage COMMON property.

Michigan is Common property. IF all of the property is in the name of 1 spouse, ALL PROPERTY BELONGS TO THAT 1 SPOUSE. Lot of paperwork needs to be done if something happens. The Court will determine how everything will be handled. No Will, ANYONE CAN MAKE CLAIM TO ESTATE.

Rremember....STILL WATERS RUN DEEP

Research extensively and ask questions. Each State has a group of new attorneys who help, some services are free or small fee.

Expect the ELEMENT OF SURPRISE once you dig deeper into your State laws regarding something as simple as taking care of your parent(s).

Many people "think" they're entitled to an inheritance even though they're not in the Will. You may be son/daughter, niece/nephew, brother/sister/cousin. Just because YOU think you are entitled DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE. SURPRISE!!

YOU COULD BE REPORTED TO ADULT PROTECTIVE SERVICES....ABUSE OF AN ELDERLY PERSON FOR FINANCIAL GAIN.....POA PEOPLE DOES NOT EXEMPT YOU FROM THIS. GUARDIAN/CONSERVATOR DOES NOT PROTECT YOU.

My step-sister did this to me through the bank. Laughed my big butt off (smaller now) BECAUSE I'M A FORMER BANKER AND I KNOW WHAT ONE HAS TO DO SO I'M NOT GUILTY OF ANYTHING!!

Now the step-sister is finding out she's in deep doo-doo. I'm going to use the possibility of fraud charges against her to get her to stop what she "thinks" they are entitled and she's finding out she's messing with the wrong person AND HER ATTORNEY FINALLY KNOWS THAT TOO!

PROTECT YOURSELF FOR THE UNEXPECTED PEOPLE. AGAIN, NO ONE IS GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT IS REQUIRED OR TOTALLY HOLD YOUR HAND TO PROTECT YOU.

Here's another SURPRISE...EVEN IF AN ATTORNEY STATES THEY ARE FAMILY LAW....RESEARCH HOW EXTENSIVE THEIR BACKGROUND IS REGARDING FAMILY LAW. GET IN TOUCH WITH THE ABA!! My step-sister's "FAMILY LAW" attorney advised her about what she could do. NOT!! Told step-sister and sent me a letter that I did not have legal right to change locks on house or keep them from accessing the house! The house is Mom's sole/separate property...YES I CAN! She must have been asleep that day in class. I legally retitled the vehicles into Mom's Estate and my name. They want the truck, give me what I want or buy it from me.

Just because the attorney states they're Family Law doesn't make it so.

Get the picture now?
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slp1684 Dec 2018
I have an irrevocable trust for my mom and I'm the trustee. Her house is now in the trust name. The trust splits assets three ways with myself and other sisters. Do you think I could still change the locks at my moms house ? Although changing the locks won't change my one sister from getting in the house and taking everything.
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I am POA for my sister(dementia) in Assisted Living. Her SS check is auto deposited into her checking account bank and then facility receives an auto payment monthly. Easy without lots of address changes. I didn't want her SS
check to go automatically to AL in the event she moved from AL facility. All her mail comes to my address.
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My Mom is in assisted living also. This is the easiest part of everything you will be running into from now till whenever!

All you need provide Medicare/Medicaid with your POA (original). They will take a copy to place in their files. You will need to provide his new address BUT your address will be the address for notification.

Mom's comes to me as:
Mom's name
C/O my name
My address

Be sure you also provide all of this to Social Security for his SSA benefits. You will need to provide the account number to auto deposit. You WILL NEED TO PROVE you're POA again. The account MUST BE A POA OR GUARDIANSHIP. You will be asked HOW OFTEN YOU WILL BE VISITING YOUR FATHER. Each year you will be required to fill out a report and proof regarding expenditures of his money.

The assisted Living will need copies of his Medicare/Medicaid card, hopefully he has the new one that no longer has his SSN on it. Make sure you keep his card because you will need it for many many things i.e. any medical history, hospitalizations, claims.

Do not allow any mail to be sent to the assisted living. The one Mom now resides holds any mail sent by mistake, SEALED and gives to me when I go to visit etc every month.
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Isthisrealyreal Dec 2018
You only provide yearly information if you become representative payee, not a mailing address.
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You will need to notify Medicaid and Medicare of his move in date and any other changes. All mail can come directly to you, and will keep your address as POA.
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I appreciate everyone’s answers. My mom is in assisted-living with dementia and doesn’t remember her mail either. She too had bills unpaid. Now I receive all her mail as POA. I did not officially go through Medicare\SS because she had automatic deposit. Do I still need to talk to Medicare\SS? Has anyone had any issues about the two different addresses? I live in CA and she lives in AZ.
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BeJaye Dec 2018
Yes, keep the direct deposits as they are. However, notify Medicare/SS that she is now in a assisted-living facility because this is identified as a change in her care needs.
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Mom's last legal address is my house since she lived with me for 5 years before going to the AL facility. She panics when she gets mail other than the church newsletter now. It's just easier to keep having her mail sent to me and then I pay the bills, deposit checks in her account, and work with her trustee to take care of any legal matters. The literally hundreds of charity requests (some legit, some not) get thrown out.
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dkentz72 Dec 2018
Stop the junk mail. Call their customer service number or email. It will take about 4-6 weeks to stop.

BANK OFFERS especially. BE SURE TO USE A SECURITY BLACK OUT INK STAMP OR ROLLER. CAN GET AT OFFICE DEPOT/MAX!

ANYTHING THAT CONTAINS MOM'S PERSONAL INFO.....EVEN A LITTLE THING LIKE HER NAME.

DUMPSTER DIVERS WANT FIND ANY INFO THEY CAN. MAKE FAKE ID, GET LOANS, CREDIT CARDS.....JUST OFF A NAME.
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I haven't done that. If there is a requirement, no one made that clear, or enforced any sanctions as of yet because of the fact .
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dkentz72 Dec 2018
Government! No one ever tells you what you need to know about this stuff. If you don't take care of it now, you'll run into some very big hurdles!
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keep it at your address. You are the POA. You make sure you are recognized by all government entities that you are.
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I went through this earlier this year, after moving my parents into assisted living. Technically social security manages Medicare. Social Security will not change the address or do anything without the principal being involved. So either your dad has to be involved or you have To apply to become a representative payee in order to do things as simple as change their address.
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dkentz72 Dec 2018
This was the easiest Government part I was tasked to do.

1. Provide Mom's SS card
2. Provide my legal papers, my ID
3. New bank account for deposits
4. Answer a few questions
5. Sign
6. Done
Mom was not present for any of this. I was at Social Security office for 5 minutes. I waited longer to talk with the employee than getting everything arranged.
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When Dad could no longer handle his affairs (and prior to his being declared incompetent), Medicare, utilities, banks and most all other communications simply required me to provide them with a copy of Dad's POA. Some even accepted a .pdf copy via email attachment, but most required a physical copy. The VA never accepts POA, so I had to go through the VA custodian process to become VA fiduciary (get your county's VA office help with this, it's free). Finally, some financial institutions require use of their own forms, imprinted with their corporate name and drafted by their own corporate lawyers, to certify I could act on Dad's behalf. Forwarding documents and filling out forms is frustrating, but you can do it, even if only as each bill or statement comes in. I never dealt with Medicaid so I don't know how that works. But Social Security easily accepted Dad's POA.
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bgdisme Dec 2018
50sChild, that's interesting. I just became Rep Payee for my mom for Social Security and was told, and read on the Social Security website that they don't recognize POA.
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I would call Medicaid and Medicare to discuss this. You can probably do it over the phone if you have POA.
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I have my address for my dad because he can't deal with his mail.

Medicare told me it needs to be a viable address, one they can contact him at. I can call him if need be so they said it's good. They are concerned that the person has passed and they haven't been notified, that's the reason for them having an address.

I don't know about Medicaid but you can give them your address as mailing address and the AL as physical address.

This is very common in lots of situations.
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carolsmith1, ah yes, finding unopened mail on my Dad's desk and active bills in his wastepaper basket and in the recycling bin.

Since I had all of Dad's on-line accounts available, plus knowing the answers to his security questions, it was fairly easy to switch all his accounts to my home address.

Dad use to fuss whenever he got the monthly bill from the senior facility where he lived, so I had to keep after the facility to please please please mail it directly to me, and NO copies given to Dad. Otherwise Dad would start talking about moving out. Earth to facility, common sense here, folks :P

As for Medicaid, since each State manages their own Medicaid, it would be best to give them a call. As for Medicare, I believe I went on-line and at that time was able to give a "billing address" and a "residential address".
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AvaC42 Dec 2018
Thanks for this! After reading the question, I was also wondering how I would be able to change my Mom's address for Social Security if she moved to AL. You provided me with the answer as I also have all her on-line account information. Just went on SSA and changed her mailing address to mine in less than a minute!
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I think if you change his address with SS, Medicare will get the change. Medicaid should be informed but you should have gotten paperwork for next year and on that you would have put a change of address. I suggest that you ask both that mail comes to you. At Moms AL the PO came into the facility and filled the boxes. If a room no. wasn't on the envelope it would go in a pile. The facility would give them to the resident. I found them in Moms basket. I found a second request, never saw the first. Had a fight with the hospital they had to bill Mom at the AL because that was her resident even though I explained I paid the bills. Called their billing dept about something and was told there was no problem billing my address and changed it. 9
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jacobsonbob Dec 2018
Nearly all the mail and important paperwork for my mother (e.g., Medicare, supplemental plans, SS, bank and brokerage statements) goes to my sister's address as she is POA. There are a few things that still go to the nursing home (e.g., one investment statement), and the process of changing these can be frustrating. Sometimes I think the worst cases of dementia are among the bureaucrats living OUTSIDE the nursing homes!
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