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Emily25069. Don't feel bad. It must really be hard when you have children. I don't, but am married and have been care giving all the nine years that we've been married, not to mention we care gave for my mom for five years before she passed from breast cancer. She was so strong and positive even knowing she wasn't going to be here much longer. Dad on the other hand is a needy pity party type of guy. I have wanted to run many times but promised myself to keep him home until hospice can help me in my home. I spent hours trying to get help, but dad needs assistance getting up and moving to the bathroom, etc. I was told that a companion can't be hands on and I need an RN or LPN for insurance to cover it or it is self pay. I had to quit my 2 day part time job because it would cost at least $200 a day to have a nurse and in the 2 days I work, I didn't even clear $200 so it made sense for me to quit until the day comes that he can't bathe by himself. He has a great benefit pkg so medicaid is not an option. I do have a CNA friend that will help when my hubby and I need to go have some fun so that helps. The hardest part is watching him go downhill slowly. He says I hope this never happens to you and I spend many nights crying for him. It's hard. But here I stay. Don't feel bad. This job is not for everyone. It is the hardest thing I've ever done. Get your space and take care of your family and don't feel guilty. Hugs to you. Hang in there!
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In my case, Im the one with no place to go. I enjoy my job but it does not pay enough for me to afford rent in the area which I live.
Living with Dad does have the perk of my children being in a beautiful home, nice quiet neighborhood. Its certainly alot different from what my children are used to. So my father feels like since Im not paying rent, I "owe" him by being his personal servant.
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I am right there with you Emily. After a year of complete 24 hour a day care of my dad who no longer can walk, I am contemplating how to leave. I now believe there comes a time for many of us caregivers of elderly parents that it does become too much. And living in their home instead of bringing them into ours does really skew the dynamic of the parent child relationship. I will bet you will have a better relationship with your parents living apart from them. And you of course have a previous commitment to your children that is very important. Many times you just can't do it all. Take care of yourself.
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I plan to leave. I dont have the courage that you do...
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I think it's better that you get out now than to hang in there for years, resenting your situation and being miserable.

You did the right thing.
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Don't beat yourself up. Not everyone is cut out for this. They don't teach you how to take care of dementia,and a human that can no longer care for themselves in school.Good intentions are often not enough and you have children. Keep coming to this site and start asking specific questions.People on here can help you start to contact the help your parents need. You have children and the must come first.If there are any VA benefits start there , if they need an aide to come in every day.There is help out there. So many times I feel like running away but my mother lives in my home.But please don't feel bad. Read some of the stories here and you will find plenty of people tried but realized they were in over their heads.
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