Can a person with dementia leave a nursing facility against doctors' orders?

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My 75 yrs old Mother had a heart attack and 2 stokes in Aug. 2011. She stayed 1 month in the hospital, and 6 months in a nursing home doing rehab. She has been diagnose with dementia. She gets around mostly in a wheel chair she can manage a walker in small areas. She is refusing to stay in a nursing center. She wants to go home. She sayes she is going at the end of Feb. 2012 even if the Dr doesn't release her. My Mother is very stubborn, how she has always got her way in life is to wear people down till they give in. My 2 sister and 1 brother and my self have refused to take her home from the nursing center. The nursing center said that if she leaves without the Dr. ok that she can not have home health aid come in to help. Our problem as far as her going home is that home health aid only does 2 hours a day 4 days a week. So that leaves a good 20 hrs that Mom will be there by her self. There will be no one to give her her medicine, she is on 4 heart med. for blood pressure and cumin which has to be tested weekly. Not including the 7 others I can't spell. My Mother has decided that she doesn't need to wear depends. So you know what that means. My brother doesn't live here and me and 1 sister work full time and wouldn't be able to do any help until after 6 in the evening. That is when we are usally home cooking dinner and taking care of our family. So that leave 1 sister whos schedule is more free and her husband work 4 weeks out of town and 1 week home. She leaves alot to go stay with him. I just feel like the nursing home is dropping the ball. Shouldn't they know how to deal with people like her. Instead their trying to get us to take home a person that can't take care of her self.

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Those judging do not know everyone's situation. I have to work to support my daughter and myself. I cannot stay home like some that no longer work. My father has dementia and cancer and cannot walk. He is a 2 person assist and to pay for Home health for 2 people costs much more than nursing home care.
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I don't know of anyone who is in a nursing home who wants to be there.

What are her medical needs that led to her being placed in 24/7 care?

Are you able to meet those medical needs yourself by yourself?

Why do you think you can provide better 24/7 care than three shifts of people 24/7?

If your cousin has medical poa, she may be able to block your course of action.

For her to leave the nursing home, they would have to consider her a safe release, that is she is going into a situation where she will receive the same level of care.

I don't think that your mom can just check herself out. Did she check herself in?

If you just try to take her out of there on your own, they could call the police on you.
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My mom is in a nursing home she doesn't wanna be there any more and I want to bring her home the thing is that my cousin has poa and she doesn't want mom to come home can my mom leave? And can they call the police if I take her?
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My roommate is 69, and has congestive heart failure, diabetes 2, arthritis, and mild epilepsy, in addition to some behavioral issues. She has been mistreated on numerous occasions by staffers there, and the "administrator" invariably sides with her staffers, and only recently, admitted that she has now seen her people commit physical, mental, emotional, and verbal acts of abuse, and now knows that we were telling the truth all along! My roommate and I have been told repeatedly by nurses and her social worker that if I took her home to spend a night or weekend with me, it would mean a $215.00 a night bed hold fee. I saw many other patients take weekend leaves with family members and friends, and THEY were'nt subjected to these huge fees! The administrator finally admitted that Medicare pays for up to five days a month of recreational leave! So, two people who were roommates for 36 years were unnaturally kept apart for more than three YEARS!! I am currenty working on a leave for her, but apparently the visiting contracted nursing home M.D. has ALL the power in this decision, and can allege that my friend is'nt well enough to go home on the 4th Of July for a weekend with me. Since her doctor totally ignores me, I have to wonder what I can do to challenge her medical assessment, and FORCE her to agree that my roommate is well enough to go home with me one weekend a month! There must be a process, and somebody to help us. This would do wonders for my roommates emotional outlook and mental health, since she is dying to be with me, and when I leave after visits, she always starts crying! The ombudsman is the typical JOKE! Somebody has pulled an inside buy off job, because they can barely say their own names, and they ALWAYS side with the facility!! Jeannette's doctor is the interloper here, not ME! DUH! I have known Jeannette for 41 years, and been her sole source of protection and support. I suppose I will be forced to get a full POA or guardianship to get these tyrants to cooperate and to respond to our concerns!
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And wow, Trapper456 is another judger. What if you don't have a family that you can get to chip in on a care provider for home full time. What do you know about that person? I see you "dumped" your mother in a home at some point. I think you probably did no research at all on the home you left your mother in. Sorry to be so harsh; it's just my judgement on you and Mamanek.
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Lucky wealthy Mamanek to be able to live with no income. JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED ...Matthew 7:1-3
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Yes, well one nursing home is one nursing home. Many of us have had far better experiences with staff at nursing homes where there are many eyes on the situation, as opposed to a single caregiver isolated at home with the patient. In my opinion, this is particularly true if your loved one has dementia and is paranoid. When my mom tells me that there are floods all the time in the basement of the facility (it has no basement) and that it's been sold again (because a man in a suit walked down the hallway), i don't need to launch an investigation. There are many definitions of "taking care of" family members.
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Even though I may be opposed to leaving someone in a nursing care facility, I think that I may have an answer to your question. If it so happens that your mother get's out of a nursing home here is what you can do. Several years ago when my mom was younger she used to work for a lady that had all the things that you are talking about. She was hired by the family through the job service as a part time temporary person to come in during the days while her son was at work. My mother made sure that she had gotten all of her medicine and was taken care of during the day. The family went together on the finances and hired my mom. My mom had some nurses’ aide experience that is why she was hired in the first place. If you decide to take this route just do a criminal background search on the person to make sure that they have no issues with abuse or anything like that. I still have something against nursing homes, but if you where going to do something this would be a better way to go; That way if you or none of the other family members can take care of her there will be someone there for you mother. You could possibly go to-gether on the finances and hire someone or a couple of people full time permanent; That way there is someone there all the time to take care of your mother. She would be a lot better off this way because she could actually build a relationship with these people. Just a suggestion! Sorry about being so harsh on the other post, I just fell very strongly against nursing homes since we had such a horrible experience with the one my mom was at.
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OK! I may have been a little harsh on the last post that I created, But I just feel that when a person takes care of you, you should be able to at least figure out a way to take care of someone that you love. In my opinion and my opinion only, some of the people that are nurses and nurse’s aids could care less about your loved one. The only thing that some of them are there to do is collect heir paycheck. I know that this is the only way to survive, but in my experience in the last couple of months this is what I see here in "The Car And Rehab Center" where I live. I was in no way trying to make anybody feel guilty about anything that they are doing, I was just merely stating what I feel to be true. When my mother was a younger person she and my grandmother moved in with my great grandmother of 106 to help take care of her until the day she died. I may come from a different side of the tracks, but I just feel that you should be able to help somebody out that took care of you until you where old enough to take care of yourself; I am just merely stating the facts the way that I see them. Yes, if there is no other choice in getting help then maybe a nursing home is the answer, but be very careful because your loved ones may end up worse then they where in the beginning because of so many diseases going around, that in the nursing home they are easier to catch because of shared bathrooms, and maybe the cleanliness is not what it should be. Be very, very careful because some people die from things that they would have never died from in the nursing home if they had not been around that environment. A health care worker can transfer all kinds of germs when they are dealing with other patients if they don't practice good hand washing techniques after dealing with another patient. When this one nurses aide had helped clean up after my mother, she had something that was catchy that she picked up down at the nursing home, well to make a kind of long story short I had to ask him to wear gloves because he was getting that on his skin, and he could have very easily transferred this to another patient; Instead he just said I have been doing this for 20 years and nothing has killed me yet. This kind of irresponsibility is what I am talking about. A nursing care facility is in no way one of the safest places to be. I have gotten of the beaten path and I am somewhat sorry for the other post, but these are sometimes very dangerous places to be. There is one nursing home up here that is being investigated for several rapes that happened in this facility. This was going on about 4:00am when no one was around and no one could hear what was going on. They just got caught because a nurse had come in early because of some paper work that she had to finish up. No, back to the subject: Leaving against medical advice. If a nursing home patient wants to leave AMA they can, and yes there are some consequence's to it, but nothing like they say, the just make it sound scarier then it actually is because they are not getting paid for the room, and the attending doctor is not getting paid for keeping that patient in there because they get around $3,000.00 per month for keeping a patient in. They just make it sound like leaving AMA is scarier than it is. My uncle did just this, because he thought that he would be better off at home. He had Alcoholic Alzheimer's disease. After the nursing home experience because it was a bad one, he realized how important it was not to drink and do that to yourself. He spoke to his Dr. after that and the Dr. told him that if he did not quite drinking it would kill him. Guess what? He quit drinking cold turkey. As for the last post, I did in no way want to judge anybody, but, I just seen very little compassion for older people and in kind of angered me. If you think that your mothers, fathers, or disabled children are better off that way then so be it. But that is something that I would never in my wildest dreams every do again, nor ever recommend to anyone to do, not even my worst enemy.
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Double wow! According to the two people on this thread that are trying to shame those of us who placed our loved one in a NH, I should bring my mother with advanced dementia home. She can then duck and run with me when my husband with Alzheimer's goes into another rage and starts throwing things. Except, she can't run and would not understand the need to duck. My brother lives too far away to help.

I too am sorry about your mother but in my mother's case the safest place is a NH. She's only been there almost a month and you're right the NH has some problems so I have to advocate for her but it's better for her to be missing some clothes then to be hit by a flying book at my house.
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