Is it okay to leave my son, girlfriend and baby here with my elderly sick Mom for a couple days? - AgingCare.com

Is it okay to leave my son, girlfriend and baby here with my elderly sick Mom for a couple days?

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I am on the verge of a breakdown .I have been caring for my mother for 5 years by myself now and she was just recently released from the hospital. She came home much weaker and with more ailments (Diabetes, very high blood pressure, and COPD). No one will help me not even my own brother. My son verbally abuses me when I mention placing her in a rehab to gain her strength back but he puts a guilt trip on me about her always taking care of me and him (my son). I have anxiety and major clinical depression and am on the verge of a mental breakdown. I can't focus on anything because I can't stop crying and feeling depressed. I am 63, have health issues as well and am just not as strong physically as I once was. Also, I have been out of the workforce and have lost a lot of knowledge of current technological advancements and my age is a factor as well. I am not sure I will be even able to work once my mother passes. Her home is in reverse mortgage so their is no family inheritance, which is okay. I am more concerned that my mental stability is breaking down and I am going to end up in a hospital myself. My son and his girlfriend and baby live here but they are always fighting. He curses me and tells me I am a terrible daughter for wanting to take her away from her home. I just want to leave for a few days until I can get back my health and thoughts about what I should do. Any advice?

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I agree that you need a break. You shouldn't be walking around on the verge of a breakdown and have no options. If you could leave for a few days would your son even agree to take care of his grandmother? He'd have to agree to it. If he doesn't then I would call the Dr. as someone else suggested and tell the Dr. that your mom needs rehab, that you've changed your mind. This is probably not something that will happen overnight. Can you hang in there until arrangements are made?

And if your son doesn't like it that's just too bad.
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Rehab is to help the patient get stronger and is prescribed because mere mortals can't take a a patient in the weakened state they are left in when discharged from the hospital. Your son isan idiot if he ddoesn't understand that. Or he's mentally ill. Or both. If I was in your shoes, I would contact mom's doctor and see if mom is eligible for in-facility rehab. Explain that you thought you would be able to handle her at home but can't. If this doesn't work I would seriously consider leaving and letting son handle matters for a few weeks while you get you strength back. And a side note, if you're living and he verbally abuses you, I'd call 911 and have him hauled outta there. Your house--your rules!
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Oh My! I mean you should NOT take abuse from your son or anyone else!
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I agree that you need to find some help for yourself. Please do not feel bad about not being able to continue. 5 years is a long time, especially caring for someone on your own. You should take abuse from your son or anyone else. I hope that you get to a good place!
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Your son sounds like a real pill. I'd consider getting your mom into a facility where she can be cared for by a nursing staff and you can return to being her daughter and not her nurse/babysitter/chauffeur, etc.

It is NOT selfish to want to take care of your own mental and physical health. It's absolutely your right and necessary! Get your mom into rehab, kick out the son and wife and reclaim your OWN life. You deserve your own health and happiness. A very critical son and very ill mom are too much for you to handle on your own. Get the help you need! {{Hugs}}
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Call your MD and get to a hospital for treatment. Let your son pick up from there, he is an adult and can handle it. This may be an eye opener for your son who will agree to rehab after he sees how much work it is. That would be a good thing.
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