Should I take my mom to a lawyer and leave them to hash out changing her will between them?

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My mom has requested that I make arrangements for her to rewrite her will. She wants to be sure my brother gets nothing. I am really uncomfortable over this. As side from the question of whether or not this is a valid request on her part (she might have some actual reasons), my issue is that I am POA...and it feels like I could be facing some issues of being accused of doing this via force or other means. Nothing is further from the truth...but, I feel like I am being put in a position of having legal hassles from brother once Mom passes. Mom is doing so much better now! I think it took a few weeks to reach therapeutic levels of diltazem...but she has been very alert and talkative. Doing very well, getting out to her support group and even out shopping. Then this comes up out of now where. With the way Mom is these last couple weeks...she might actually live to spend all her money! I told her.... why try to take it with you? Spend it first! But, I cannot distract her from this course. The family lawyer doesn't want to do this because he is sure that my brother will make a huge legal hassle...so he wants to be certain this is all cleanly and legally done. So, I guess I cannot enlist him to talk mom out of this path. Should I take her to a lawyer and leave them to hash this out between them? What could I ask of the lawyer to protect me from accusation of elder abuse....namly, talking my mom into doing this when she is Does not understand what she is doing. Remember, my brother only gets involved when he smells money. He tried to over turn Dads will because it left everything to Mom.

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Ok..I have a new plan. Law offices say that's I need to get a certification from the doctor that she is competent. They require this from her doctor. So...if I enlist his help, I could just get a document that states she is not competent....ta da. My problem is solve, and I don't have to deal with my accusing me later if ignoring her wishes.
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Since sorting out the medical issues that mom was having, she is a whole new person. She could very well out live her finances. I actually hope so. I think it would be grand to have her enjoy it.

So...I am going to put this into the hands of an attorney that knows probate and wills. Set away, and let her settle this however she chooses. Just hope the lawyer causes mom to rethink this.
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If this idea came out of nowhere, I should use delaying tactics for a little while and see if it vanishes again just as suddenly.

It's called "creative inertia": I'm sure you can think of lots of things to say if your mother asks.

"Oh yes, we must do that." (then don't do anything)
"I'm not sure where I put the number for that new place..." (looking round the room vaguely)
"They were going to call back, I'll chase it up later."
"Didn't you say you wanted to sleep on it? No? Oh, I thought you did."

And of course if she doesn't ask, keep shtum.
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I am POA because Mom and Dad signed a POA years ago. I think they both understood my brother was not interested in anything except grabbing money. Mom had a stroke last summer, and her recovery has been slow and hampered by complications. Dad passed in Sept.

Brother has had no role in caregiving. Not while Dad lived, not while mom was in the hospital. I begged him to come here and help last summer...I was going nuts trying to be at the house for Dad 24/7, trying to be at the hospital 8 hours a day, all while searching for a house to move them both into and sorting out care for my Dad....while he was firing aides faster than I could hire them. And making arrangements for packing and moving....while trying to get my own affairs 2000 miles away settled in abscenia. Last summer brother told me to pay him $10,000 and he would come and help. Ah..no.

When I needed to get away to NC to finish all my dealings there...brother would not come and cover. Only time brother showed up at all was at the funeral...and he asked mom for money. He also threatened to contest Dad will..because mom was the sole beneficiary!

Family lawyer didn't refuse to do this....or consul against it.only said he didn't feel his knowledge of probate and wills was sufficient to do it right.
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See if atty can have mom do a codicil to her old will with a special needs or other trust set up for bro from a portion of moms estate with the atty or their law firm as administrator &/or trustee. You are not involved in this trust. This get the future monkey never on your back!

I'd suggest 1/3 of her estate for his trust. That leaves 2/3 to you both for your inheritance and to have funds to be executor. Your mom has properties, there's going to all sorts of costs within probate.... Plus costs to set up bros trust. If he gets all snippy on this, you could offer to pay trusts operating costs for a couple of years to be magnanimous & nice!

And if mom should need her $ during her lifetime and die without any, that codicil showed that she did think of him & his needs but unfortunately the costs of her health care and her properties just used it all. Inheritances are never guarantee.
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katie, I really hope the Attorney can talk your Mom out of not leaving anything to your brother.... leave him some amount of the estate, it doesn't have to be big, but have him mentioned in the Will.   That would lessen a chance of a really big hassle later on.

Does your brother help out with any of Mom's caregiving?   If not, who knows what the future might bring.   He might become a part of her caregiving but by then Mom may not be unable to make yet another change to her Will.
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When she was younger and in her right mind, she wrote a fair and impartial Will. The lawyer is correct, the brother could allege "undue influence" and mount an expensive legal challenge. Since you are acting as POA, I assume that mom has some level of cognitive decline, to the point that POA is activated. That means you ignore ramblings and mood swings and follow the attorney's advice.
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