I want to leave my job just to take care of mom. - AgingCare.com

I want to leave my job just to take care of mom.

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Staying home to help your mom is a noble and wonderful idea, but there are many factors you'll need to think about. Does your mother depend on your income? Does she have access to health care without any benefits you had through your job? Do you have access to your own health care? Being a full-time caregiver can be stressful and you'll need to make sure that you take care of yourself as well. There are certainly options out there like assisted living, or full time nurses that can help. I would recommend looking at all available options before quitting your job.
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Lourdesa, are you still on-line? We haven't heard back from you since you posted your question about 3 days ago. Please return and help us know more about what is going on :)
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Don't do it. I did. It was a mistake. I promised myself I would do the right thing and take care of my parents and grandparents. So I stopped working years ago and I've done it ever since. It was a mistake. It's taken a toll on me financially, physically and emotionally. I'm a wreck. I had a six figure salary and stock options. It's cost me millions. I used to be in really great shape and went to the gym everyday. I had a resting heart rate in the high 50's and even my doctors told me I was like someone 20 years younger than I was. Now I'm chubby, comfort food, and my resting heart rate is in the high 70's. Emotionally, I'm just waiting for it to all end.

Don't expect gratitude or even a simple thanks for everything you do. I get a constant stream of derision because they think I'm being to controlling. Like don't play with knives, wash your hands(with soap!) after you go to the bathroom, brush your teeth before going to sleep and lately don't throw the plates. We've had to switch to paper.

Keep your job. Keep your health. Keep your sanity. Even if you have to pour every cent you make into paying for professional care, it's worth it. For you and your relationship with your loved ones.
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freqflyer is right on as are all the other comments!
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Think about it, your income will be gone and if you think you will get paid to care for her, guess again. Ask some people who have done this, they will tell you they wish they hadn't.
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Aaaaaaarrrrgggghhhh...!

DON'T.
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Lourdesa, depending on the type of job you have, here are some things to think about if one is trying to decide whether to quit work to care for an aging parent.... on average if a working person quits work he/she will lose over the years between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes not only loss of salary over those years... it also includes the net worth loss of the health insurance coverage....

loss of money being put into Social Security/Medicare..... loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k).... profit sharing.... workman's comp insurance.... company sponsored life insurance.... vacation pay, sick pay.... tuition assistance, etc. [source: in part Reuters 5/30/12]

You sound like you are really ready to quit work and to be a caregiver full-time. I assume your Mom has other health issues that would require someone to be with her all the time. Please give us more information when you have a chance.
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Lourdesa--
This is a sweet and wonderful thing you want to do--BUT, maybe right now it seems like the best possible thing...and 10, 15 years from now, you may be thinking "what was I THINKING?" You don't give us much info, so you need to think this through very clearly.
Brother moved both my parents in with him 18 years ago. At the time, daddy was suffering from Parkinson's and mother was exhausted caring for him. Some kind of financial agreement was talked about--to compensate my brother for having to quit his 2nd job to care for the folks. In the end the agreement was not honored, brother nearly lost his home to foreclosure, as part of the agreement was that my parents would pay off his house, instead of paying monthly 'rent'. They did neither.
Now mother is there, alone, demanding, draining and emotionally it's taking such a toll on my brother and his family.
I asked him the other day if he'd do it again and he unhesitatingly said "NO!". Due to personality conflicts, and a lot of other dynamics---it just hasn't been a good environment and all involved have lost a lot.
Maybe it would work for you---but your mother WILL get older, WILL need more help, and it WILL take it's toll on you.
Really, only you can answer this, don't make any hasty decisions at all!!
The role of caregiving makes you a different person than just being her "child". Tread lightly.
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Lourdesa, some other factors come into play in a decision like this, too, in addition to financial.

How well have you and your mom gotten along over the years? Was she loving and nurturing during your childhood? Have you been friends as adults?

What is your mother's personality like? Does she tend to be bossy? Is she dependent, liking other people to make decisions for her? Is she appreciative? Is she very negative, and nothing is good enough for her? Is she reasonably compliant with what her healthcare professionals suggest?

What are her needs? Your profile says she has diabetes. In itself that doesn't generally require a caregiver, but there can be many complications and care may be needed for those. If you were with your mother all day, what kinds of things would you be doing for her that she cannot do for herself? Does she have impairments in addition to complications of diabetes? Does she have depression, do you think?

Are her conditions likely to become progressively worse?

Is it possible that your mother's needs could be met by some part-time in-home care? For example, if she has a hard time bathing or if it is risky for her to take a shower alone, her doctor could order a bath aide to visit on a regular schedule. Meals on Wheels may be a big help if she has trouble fixing her meals. If other people were handling some of the day-to-day care, you could continue to work and continue the role of a loving adult child. If mom hires a cleaning service, you could spend your time playing cards with her instead of scrubbing the toilet.

It is admirable that you want to help your mother. Maybe that will mean quitting your job. Maybe you could be very helpful and still be working. Perhaps reducing your work hours would be a good compromise. Think this through very carefully. The decision you make now will have an impact on the rest of your life.
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Lourdesa
I've felt the same impulse for years mainly because it is so hard to maintain high performance at a demanding job when you're also taking care of someone
depending on a whole host of factors please consider things carefully
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