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My mom is one of the worst people you will ever meet, I hate to say. She is controlling, demanding, cruel and has dominated my dad for years. My dad's teeth are rotting and she says "I can't afford to get him dentures," but they have the money and he is the only one that ever earned it, to boot. I'm trying to find something in Florida Law that basically says that "one spouse may not deny the other the care they deserve." I'm about to go make it happen anyway, but I'd like to have something to show her just to prove the point. I consider what she is doing as elder abuse. Thanks!

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I think you need to involve adult protective services in this.
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The key thing is that he gets his teeth seen to. As you say, it's his money; and what's she going to do about a fait accompli?

Perhaps you could point out to her that if it comes to light that he has a head full of rotting teeth - a trip to the ER, an inquisitive GP wondering what that terrible smell is - the finger of blame and shame will point straight at her. How will she live with it, knowing that everyone thinks she's a terrible, neglectful, idle wife?
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I would skip begging mom. She sounds narcissistic, and I won't be able to convince her no matter what. Call Adult Protective Services about a senior in need of care for rotting teeth, that you believe the wife may be abusing him by preventing his treatment. If you possibly can, set up an appointment to meet them at their house when you can be there to let them in the door. Your "friends" have arrived to see what they can do to help your parents, since they are lacking the funds to take care of themselves! Voila, the lies get mom in even deeper. And dad gets help with his mouth.
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I just found what I need in the FL statutes. I just wanted something substantial in case she persists, but I know what his rights are already. Someone just needs to take some action on his behalf, which is already in process.
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Good for you Lonestarguy, you have found the ammunition you need. Hope the solution is not too painful for dad or you
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Social Security law dictates that the beneficiaries funds must be used for him. Not to do so is fraud.
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Don't try to change your mother or make her care. It would be futile. It was said here she sounds like a narcissist, and I agree. And the money is his as much as hers, so she cannot control it. Make sure he gets his teeth fixed. Good luck.
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If there's a dental school in your area, contact them about reduced-priced dental care. It can be a significant savings.
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Did you get an estimate from the dentist as to how much the work your dad needs is actually going to cost? Dentists are not cheap.
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Bad teeth and gums can cause all kinds of health problems.
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